Personal Growth

Unravelling the Tangled Mess

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When I was a kid, I loved flying my kite. I remember one windy summer day in the field just down from our house, releasing my kite into the sky. It was a thrill to feel the pull of the wind on the spool of string as the kite dove back and forth. I let out more string, and more string. The kite grew smaller as the string rolled off the spool until… oh no! The string was not tied to the spool in my hand! I had let the string reel out and suddenly the string was all gone – the kite was no longer tethered to the spool in my hand! I panicked! I scrambled after the kite, desperately trying to grab the string. After a few frantic attempts I managed to snag the string. In my panic I hauled the string in, not rolling it up neatly on its spool, but gathering it in a tangled pile at my feet until I had the kite back in my hands. I never managed to untangle that pile of string again.

Sometimes, in an attempt to control our busy lives, it seems we end up with a tangled mess of roles and responsibilities at our feet. We do everything we are supposed to do or have signed up for, but we desperately try to untangle the mess and get a sense of control back. Each of us needs to manage various roles in work and life.

Recently I felt like my life was resembling that pile of tangled string. I had some family issues that took precedence over all my other responsibilities. Everything else got put on the shelf for a week or so. I focused on the one thing that was most important in the moment. After that week, I recognized I had some untangling to do.

I needed to figure out which strings to pull to start unravelling the mess. I had to take out a calendar and plot out my responsibilities to make sure I was working on the right things at the right time. We can’t work on everything at once. No matter how many responsibilities we think we can handle, we can only work on one at a time. I had to break down my responsibilities into manageable periods and schedule them on my calendar. I had to plot when I would focus on my transitional pastor responsibilities. I needed to chart when I would work on my transitional coaching duties. I needed to clearly schedule when to work on my doctorate work. I needed to schedule some family responsibilities. It took some work to sort it all out, but the end result was a plan that gave me peace. I could see my way through.

Whatever is in your tangled mess of string, you can find your way through. Ask God to help you sort it out. And ask God to give you the time you need to accomplish what is on your plate. I know from experience, that God can enable you to work faster or to somehow stretch your time to do all He is asking of you. He will help you sort it out. Don’t panic or give up. Sort it out and begin working on one responsibility at a time.

Carve out a time of retreat. Even a hour or so away from everything may give you the necessary time to evaluate your priorities and determine what you need to focus on and in what order. Then after the retreat you can advance with a plan.

We all have numerous responsibilities. Sometimes they pile up and its hard to know where to start in addressing all the needs, but with God’s help you can do it.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Make Sure Your Heart is Right

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Proverbs 21:2

A person may think their own ways are right,
    but the Lord weighs the heart.

Proverbs 3:5-6

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

If we were to take a look at the discipleship methods of our churches, we might tend to think that discipleship is about knowing enough information. We preach and teach on Sunday mornings, we have Bible studies mid-week, we encourage people to read the Bible at home. We want to make sure that people know the right stuff.

It’s as if we think that if we give Christians enough information about God, about themselves in light of their relationship with God, and what God wants us to do in the world, then we will live out what God wants us to do. Unfortunately, that is not correct. Giving people more information, and helping them to think right is important, but is not the complete picture.

Information by itself, if it does not connect with our inner being, may never affect us or change us in any way. In the verses above we see the emphasis on the heart. In these verses, “heart” refers to “the inner man, mind and will.” This moves beyond or rational thinking to our feeling. It moves beyond knowledge to our desires. Unless we care about something, it is simply information. Once we care about it, we want to act on it.

When I tell someone there are over 30,000 orphans in 750 orphanages across Haiti, people receive the information. When that same person gets to know an orphan who was adopted, or visits an orphanage in Haiti, that information becomes personal. They become emotionally connected to the information. Then they may move beyond just storing information in their head to wanting to make a difference somehow.

When I hear a sermon about the fact that God answers prayer, I receive it as information. I may even believe it. When I pray, and God answers in a specific way, then I know that God answers because I have experienced it. Now when I pray, I pray with a much deeper expectation because I don’t just have information.

When I am taught that I need to read my Bible and pray every day, I might do it occasionally, but when I have come to know Jesus in a real way, then I want to read because I hear him speaking to me. I am not just reading information but having a conversation with Jesus.

James K. A. Smith wrote You Are What You Love. He does a good job of pointing out that information alone won’t change us. We will still do what we love. We naturally act out of our personal desires, not just by being taught to think correctly.

May our relationship with Jesus be much more than information about Him. May we love him and choose to obey Him out of a desire to please him.

Keep looking up,

H. Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2024 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

B.L.E.S.S.: 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World – by Dave Ferguson and Jon Ferguson

As Christians, we know that Jesus commanded us to share the
gospel with the world around us. Yet for many of us this is a confusing and
terrifying thought. It seems so foreign to us. Dave and Jon make it seem simple
and lay out a clear plan on how to naturally share God’s love with the people
we encounter every day. If you were looking for a plan on how to tell others
about Jesus, B.L.E.S.S. is that plan. Begin with Prayer, Listen, Eat together,
Serve, and Share your Story. I encourage you to grab a book, read it, and apply
– by yourself or with a group.



 



Summer Road Signs Series – #7: Playground and School Zone Signs

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Playground and school zone signs are similar in that they warn drivers to be aware that there are children in the area. This is one of the road signs that I seem to miss easily.  In fact, I got two photo radar tickets in the mail because I had not slowed down for a playground I passed twice in the same morning.

While many signs are intended for driver safety, these signs are all about the safety of other people, often children. And that is why I got my tickets, because I was focused on finding a doctor’s office that morning, not paying attention to others around me, and speeding in a playground zone. Churches, and pastors like me, could learn a few things from this sign.

First, remember that there are other people around. It is so easy to get focused on tasks we are engaged in that we don’t notice others. We are so focused on “driving” the church that we forget the importance of people in the process. Yes, pastors need to prepare for this Sunday’s sermon and monthly board meetings. There are projects to undertake and budgets to plan. All these are good and important things to engage with, but don’t forget that the first priority – the reason we exist as a church – is to help people. There are times we would benefit from a sign that would remind us to slow down and notice people.

Secondly, beyond just noticing people, we need to be aware of their needs – to stop driving and make sure we don’t hit them if they stumble on our path. Our desire should be to help these people get safely back off the road.

Thirdly, as we notice people and make sure they are safe, it is important that we do not view these people as distractions, but as the priority right there in the moment. Instead of yelling at kids to “get off the road,” or being frustrated with people who want some of our time, we need to see our interactions with people – even the unannounced ones – as an opportunity to fulfill our priorities as churches and church leaders. Other people are not inconveniences interrupting us on the way to what is really important.

Jesus tells a story that might help us see the outworkings of this sign in our church and pastoral ministry. In Luke 10: 25-37, Jesus tells the story of a man who is beaten, robbed, and left on the side of the road. A couple of religious leaders see the man but are so intent on their destination they ignore him and keep on going. Then along comes a Samaritan, who obviously was also on a journey somewhere, but is willing to delay it in order to ensure this stranger is okay and cared for. The Samaritan bandages the beaten man, puts him on his own donkey, takes him to an inn, and pays for all his needs.

Church leaders and pastors, let’s notice people and see them as the priority, not as an inconvenience to deal with quickly and get out of our way. Let’s notice them and care for their needs.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2024 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

GOD CAN DO ANYTHING BUT FAIL: So Try Parasailing in a Windstorm – by Stan Toler

Stan Toler uses a humorous approach to remind us of our God who can do amazing things. He focuses in on the amazing things God does in and through us with chapters like: Chapter 1: God Can Love Me Even When I Don’t Write on His Facebook Wall, Chapter 4: God Can Heal Me Even When the Doctor Shakes Her Head and Walks Away, or Chapter 5: God Can Guide Me Even When the Lady on My GPS Has Laryngitis. He reminds us that God can do amazing things, but we have a role to play too, “If you want to mature in Christ, you have to surrender all you have and all you are to Him every single day.” (p. 66) He reminds us that God is at work, and we are invited into relationship with Him, joining Him in what He is doing in the world.

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2024 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

THINKING, FAST AND SLOW – by Daniel Kahneman

As the title says, this book is about thinking. Slow and fast refers to the two systems Kahneman describes in the book. System 1 is like instinct. This is our automatic thinking system where we don’t have to exert any effort to know certain things like one object is bigger than another or that 2 + 2 = 4. This is learned thinking, by experience or by effort. System 2 is where we have to take time to ponder something in order to come up with the right answer. Our choices and decisions originate from system 2. The first part of the book and the explanation of how these two systems work, is the best part of the book. The rest of the book then works through various examples of how our understanding of these systems affects our everyday lives. A great book on thinking to make you think!

Summer Road Signs Series – #5: No U Turn Signs

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There were a few times this summer where I was driving in unfamiliar territory and realized too late that I should have taken an earlier turn. I was headed the wrong direction and unsure how to safely turn around. Many intersections have “No U Turn” signs, sometimes with just the symbol, other times with the words “No U Turn” also posted. I would have loved to just turn around and go back to the starting point.

In my experience working with churches in transition, I could have used No U Turn signs a few times. Some churches long for the “good old days.” There is a hope that if only they could get back to what they were like and the programs they ran some years ago, when the church was growing, then things would turn around in the church and it would start to grow again.

In my experience working with churches in transition, I could have used No U Turn signs a few times. Some churches long for the “good old days.” There is a hope that if only they could get back to what they were like and the programs they ran some years ago, when the church was growing, then things would turn around in the church and it would start to grow again.

The reality is a church cannot forget the last few years and the experiences they have gone through and just start over. Time moves on. Culture changes. The congregation changes, and so does the community around the church. Instead of looking backwards, the church must learn how to move forward with clarity and purpose.

I love working on vision with churches. I love to help them see the reality of today and the possibilities of tomorrow. Instead of churches looking back to a certain period of history as the high point for the church, I want them to see that God has great things in store for them, so the best times are still ahead. It may take some work, and prayer, and trusting God, but looking back will not help. I tell churches that as we work on vision, I do not expect there to be radical change from what has happened in the past and what is going on in the church at the present. Instead, I believe God has the church on a trajectory that may need some adjusting here and there but the future will generally be consistent with their history.

The same applies to our personal lives. Many of us can look back to certain periods of our life where we felt things were going really well. Looking back, those seemed like stress-free times, times of excitement and joy. As tempting as it may be to somehow replicate what we once had, life moves on. We have new experiences. We have new responsibilities and new relationships. As we grow our family and develop our careers, we can’t just drop all of that to return to a more carefree time. Instead, we need to find a way forward, to try new roads and look for what God is going to do in our lives in the future.

U-turns are tempting because they seem like a quick and easy fix. Let’s just get back there and try again. This is usually not an option if we are leading a church or setting direction for our personal future. Time moves on like water under a bridge. Our past is not a static thing we can return to. We need to keep looking ahead.

The reality of being human is that we cannot start over. Yes, we can come back to some original principles to live by. We can reorient ourselves to God and His Word. We can re-establish guidelines for our life that served us well in the past, but we cannot remove history and start over. Sometimes a map directory in a mall has a little icon stating “you are here” so you know where you are starting from. The reality is, we are where we are. Now we need to know how to move on from here. We cannot change the past, but we can make changes for our future.

May God help us to learn from the past and keep moving ahead. U-turns to an earlier period in our life or in our church are not possible. Keep moving ahead.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Summer Road Signs Series – #4: Merge Signs

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I noticed a driver sitting at an intersection, treating a merge lane like a stop sign. There was an open lane in front of her, but she was stopped, waiting for the traffic to end. She did not seem to understand that the lane she was about to enter was wide open. It was only as she entered the lane that she would be able to accelerate to the traffic speed and merge over into the lane she was hoping to get into. And at times I have done the same thing. I know I should merge but hesitate because it seems like there is no room, especially if I have not driven that road before.

Merge signs generally indicate two roads or lanes joining into one. Two common places these signs are used is at intersections where they assist in free flow turning and, on the highway, where a multiple lane highway narrows to one less lane. These signs alert drivers to cooperate and allow those in the lane that is ending to enter their lane.

There are two roles for drivers when encountering a merge sign that reminds me of two experiences in life.

ONE: Merging from one lane into the other

      Some of us are cautious drivers. We do not want to force our way into traffic. It seems too dangerous to use the merge lane when others are going by at the speed limit – or faster. An introvert can relate.

      This is how introverts often feel in life. Merging into new situations brings fear of the unknown. They do not want to force themselves into new situation or new relationships. It seems dangerous. The others already all know each other. Will they welcome me? It is tempting to not even try new situations or to get to know new people. What if it doesn’t work out well?

      If we are caught in a merge lane in life and are hesitating to move over into the main flow of traffic, we need to recognize that the merge lane eventually ends, and with it, your opportunity to make friends with that person or try that new experience. Sometimes, as we hesitate, life moves on by. Do not be too afraid to try something new. And if it doesn’t work out, try something else.  Push yourself to continue to learn and grow. It doesn’t matter whether we are introverts or extroverts, we need to develop perseverance to keep trying new things and looking for new friendships.

      TWO: Allowing others to merge into my lane

      I am not naturally a courteous driver – just ask my wife. I have to work at reminding myself to allow others into my lane and not just push ahead with no consideration for others.

      Some of us need to learn how to consider the needs of others and allow them to merge into our lane. This applies to more than smooth and safe traffic. This applies to life as well. We need to be aware of those around us who are having a hard time fitting in. It may be at church, or at work, or even in our neighbourhood. We need to open our circles to others who need a place to connect.

      Sometimes we get frustrated with people who are not aware or understanding of what we try to do as leaders. Slow adopters annoy us because we have a plan and want people to follow us at our pace. It may be that there needs to be space and time given for those who are still figuring out how to merge into your lane. Leadership requires clear communication of vision and patience for people to get it and move into pursuing it. Let’s learn to make room for others.

      We need to make sure we do not treat merge signs as stop signs but slowly and steadily move into the traffic flow. We can ask God to give us determination to push ahead when we are scared, and ask God to give us patience for those who are slow to merge in.

      Keep looking up,

      Andy Wiebe

      Summer Road Signs Series #3: Watch for Wild Animals

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      On any road trip you take, you will pass signs warning about wildlife in the area – especially if you are in a rural area. These signs are intended to make you aware of the local wildlife because of the potential dangers you may face if you and your vehicle encounter them. These signs are used to keep you safe – both you and the wildlife. For me, these signs notify me of the possibilities of seeing some of the animals common in that area.

      In many areas of Canada the danger comes in the form of deer or moose. Deer are dangerous because they move fast and can come across the road in front of you when you least expect them. I know. I have had an encounter with one that stopped us on the side of the highway and made us wait hours for a tow truck to haul us and our car home in the middle of the night. Moose are dangerous because they are so big. Hitting a moose might not just damage your vehicle but cause you injury as well.

      I recently made a trip up to Yellowknife, Northwest Territories. There were many signs alerting us to the possibility of meeting bison on the highway. We did see some. Again, very big animals that would do a lot of damage to a car and its passengers if you were to hit one at highway speed. Majestic animals to watch, but not one you would want to hit.

      Some signs are more unusual. There are signs near Lethbridge, in southern Alberta, warning of snakes crossing the road. I don’t think there would be much danger to a car if you hit one, but these signs are also to protect the snakes.

      Speaking of protecting vulnerable animals, I like the signs that warn of ducks and geese crossing a road. Mama ducks and geese and their babies are very vulnerable. They have nothing to protect themselves with, and they are not very fast. The adults just head across the road and the little ones follow in a neat straight line. I remember recently just barely maneuvering around a mama leading her ducks.

      So what might these road signs teach us?

      They remind us of how unpredictable things can be. If you come around a corner, or pop over a hill, you have no idea what may be on the road. I have seen moose, elk, deer, antelope, bison, ducks and geese, coyotes, even a cow. I narrowly missed a horse on the road once driving late at night.

      Life, and what we encounter, can be quite unpredictable. We don’t know when we may get a health scare. Even healthy people can have heart attacks or fall and break a bone. We often go through life as if we are in full control. We make plans. We dream and strategize. We have expectations. We think that if we work hard, it will all work out. Unless we have been surprised too many times.

      Too many encounters with “wildlife” can make us paranoid. We are scared to drive at night, or too nervous to drive the speed limit. Instead of moving ahead with excitement and anticipation, we fear every next move, wondering when the next shoe will drop.

      These wildlife warning signs can remind us that we are not in control of all that happens. There are always potential dangers lurking around every corner. But we do not need to be afraid.

      We can be reminded that God is in charge. God is sovereign over all things. Nothing happens that God does not orchestrate, or allow. As we place our trust in him, we can move ahead with confidence. Not confident in our efforts or that everything will go exactly as we want, but that it will go exactly as God wants. Our confidence is in God. No matter what happens, he will walk with us. No matter what surprises we encounter in life or in business or as leaders in the church, we can trust that God is in charge, and he will direct our paths.

      5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
          and lean not on your own understanding;
      6 in all your ways submit to him,
          and he will make your paths straight.

      Proverbs 3:5-6 New International Version

      Keep looking up,

      Andy Wiebe

      Book Reviews: Andy’s 2024 Reading Experience

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      I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

      HOPECASTING: Finding, Keeping and Sharing the Things Unseen – by Mark Oestreicher

      As the title states, the book is about hope. Mark Oestreicher defines hope as: “Hope is faithful confidence that God continues to author a story that moves us from vision to action.” (p. 24) His belief is that hope is not something we work hard to get, but we can only have it as God gives it to us as we spend time with him. He describes a number of enemies of hope, each a distraction that takes our eyes off of hope to other things. I like how he shows that our role is to be Hope carriers to the world around us, already giving them a glimpse of the kingdom of heaven.

      Are you in need of some hope? This is the book for you.