life

No Regrets.

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The start of a new calendar year often causes people to evaluate their lives. This may include both looking back and looking forward. Some of us seem to spend more time looking in the mirror, while others focus only on what is in front of them. I generally focus on what’s ahead. I love planning and dreaming and preparing for what’s coming up.

The other day I overheard people talking about regrets they had. They felt they had missed out on opportunities in life because they were not willing to risk and try new things. We can look ahead with a “no regrets” mindset where we learn from the past and move on. We don’t need to look back and regret where we felt you missed out.

As I look around my office, filled with my Coke collection, I’m reminded of regrets the Coca-Cola Company had some years ago. They introduced “New Coke” on April 23, 1985, hoping to revitalize the brand and gain more market share of the beverage industry. It was a big flop! According to Brittanica, “original Coke was hoarded or sold at Prohibition-style prices. In addition, New Coke was dumped publicly into the sewers in Seattle. After 77 days the previous version of Coke was brought back as “Coca-Cola Classic” on July 11, 1985”. (https://www.britannica.com/topic/New-Coke) Hopefully you don’t have any regrets as notable as that, but it is possible that we do have some things we wish went differently for us in our past.

Regrets may come in many forms. Some are mistakes that were made. Some regrets have to do with roads not taken and opportunities missed out on. Some regrets have to do with fear of risk. While I’m not promoting revisioning history, I do think that we need to find ways of using regrets to our benefit, so they end up not being regrets in the end.

We can benefit from our experience, even if they seem like regrets at first. If your regret is a mistake that was made, learn from the mistake. Did you do something wrong on purpose? Was it a deliberate mistake? Then figure out why you did it and how you can learn from that for the next time you are in the same situation. Was it a mistake because you didn’t have the full story? Then determine to get more information, or more pertinent and accurate information the next time. Don’t live with regrets about mistakes in the past, just learn from them and move on. You cannot change what happened but you can change how you handle your future.

When considering missed opportunities, asking “what if” questions do not help us with reality. We don’t know how things would have turned out if we had taken a different direction. We can imagine, but we don’t really know. Hindsight is not always 20/20 because we don’t know what might have happened if we had stepped into a possible opportunity. If your regrets are about things that could have been different because of a missed opportunity, remember that you have no idea how it would have turned out. So don’t live with regrets for something you never did.

Another regret may be the way fear of risk kept you from stepping into roles and opportunities. If fear of risk is still predominant in your life, then learn to take small risks and learn that some risks have good benefits. Instead of letting fear keep you back, learn what you can, and then carefully move ahead, into the risk. When you have a relationship with God, you can ask him to help you know when to move ahead and when not to. If God wants you to move, then the risks is not as risky anyway.

As you look back over the last year, I hope you have no regrets. Learn from mistakes, grow in areas you feel you fell short in, and focus on what went well. Don’t focus on what could have been but learn what you can from what did happen. And then look ahead to the next year with anticipation and determination to do your best to keep growing and learning and contributing to the world in any way you can.

Don’t have regrets, just memories that help spur you on!

Keep looking up

Andy Wiebe

The Benefits of Rituals

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It’s fall, and children are heading back to school. Though we have no school age children in our house anymore, I’m reminded of those hectic school mornings. Often it is a race against time to get the children dressed, fed, and backpack loaded to get them out off to school on time. This is an example where rituals could be of great benefit.

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ritual /rĭch′oo͞-əl/

noun

  1. A ceremony in which the actions and wording follow a prescribed form and order.

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Rituals are helpful patterns for life. These are steps we go through on a regular basis that ensure we don’t forget something and get it done on time. Rituals could help children be less rushed in the morning before they head off to school. Check out the examples below.

Before going to bed the night before:

  • Lay out the next day’s clothes.
  • Pack the backpack with everything except the lunch.
  • Pack the lunch and place in the fridge.

Morning rituals:

  • Pack lunch in backpack before breakfast.
  • Place backpack beside your shoes at the door.
  • Breakfast at the same time every morning.

It may be helpful to have a ritual for the start of your workday as a pastor or church leader. Instead of showing up in your office with no idea what the day will look like, you can have a plan to start the day right. A ritual can help you make the most the first part of your day.

To set up helpful rituals you need to think through what you already do, deciding which things happen every day and could help you start the day right. A morning ritual may look like this:

  • Begin with prayer, asking God to guide your day.
  • Check emails and quickly decide which to respond to or which to put on your to-do list to deal with later.
  • Plan your day, and note appointments already schedule or deadlines that need to be met.

You may find it helpful to have some “end of day” rituals which prepare you for a good start the next day:

  • List anything that needs to be followed up from the day.
  • Make your to-do list for the next day.
  • Note appointments that have already been made.

For rituals to be helpful, they need to be personal to you. They need to be steps you will take.

Rituals can help in many areas of our work life. I have rituals for how I go about preparing my weekly sermons. I have rituals I follow in preparing to teach a class. I have rituals in how I ensure I am ready for Sunday morning. These rituals help me to make sure I don’t forget something and save time because I don’t have to think up new patterns every time.

A few benefits of rituals are that you are less likely to forget important steps, you will be more organized, and life will be just a little less hectic. Enjoy establishing meaningful rituals.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe