Personal Growth

Elements of A Spiritual Checkup

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I visited the dentist this week for what most people would call a regular checkup and teeth cleaning. Though since it had been seven years since my last checkup, it was not very “regular”. But as I was sitting in the chair, I began counting how many people were involved in my checkup. There was someone at the front desk, another taking my forms, someone doing the x-rays of my teeth, someone else to clean my teeth, and one or two others supervising. And that was all before I even saw the dentist! And then after, someone else fitted my teeth for a guard.  Each person had a specific role to play in making sure I received a full checkup and a thorough cleaning, and proper advice for caring for my teeth.

As I was lying in the chair, I began thinking of how this might compare to a thorough spiritual checkup. I would venture to say that we don’t take our spiritual checkups as seriously as this dentist and his team. Yes, many of us regularly read the scriptures and pray. We attend church regularly, and even examine our hearts before receiving communion, but might we benefit from more. If we were to have a thorough spiritual checkup, what might it look like? And would we be better served by having someone else walk us through it, or could we do an accurate enough checkup on our own?

Determing the present reality.

I don’t know if we need five of six specialized individuals to guide us, but we would benefit from a similar experience spiritually. We could have a trusted friend or a counselor or pastor walk through this process with us, or we could try it on our own. We could begin by looking at our spiritual condition.

Take inventory of reality. What does your spiritual life look like right now? In the same way a dental checkup begins with x-rays to identify the current situation, checking our spiritual life should start with an initial evaluation of what the situation is. Do we need some x-rays of our soul? With the psalmist we could ask God to examine us:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,

    and lead me along the path of everlasting life. (Psalm 139:23-24)

It’s rare that we can accurately identify our own state (otherwise, why would I need the x-ray in the first place?), so it can help to ask others in our lives who know us well. We could ask the people around us  what areas in our spiritual lives they see us perhaps needing improvement?

Ask God to guide the process of taking serious inventory of your spiritual condition.

A thorough cleaning.

Though I brush my teeth (probably not as often as I should), I still benefit from a professional to do a cleaning. In the same way, I can’t do a thorough cleaning of my own soul on my own. Instead, ask God to do a thorough cleaning of your soul. The initial evaluation shows you habits you need to remove, or sins you need to confess. Next, ask God to forgive. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. (Psalm 51: 2)

After the regular cleaning, where God purifies your soul again and again, you can celebrate: our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10: 22)

Maintaining spiritual health.

The dentist pointed out where some issues were occurring in my teeth and suggested some methods of caring for my teeth. He also suggested a teeth guard to wear at night. Going to the dentist isn’t very helpful if I stop caring for my teeth once I leave the clinic. In the same way, after reviewing your spiritual health and asking God to forgive those sins you have allowed to creep in, don’t continue in those old ways.

Instead, consider: what are some things I will do differently going forward, to protect my spiritual condition and even to make it better? This might be recommitting to reading the Bible regularly, maybe choosing a plan to follow. It might include reading books to help you grow. Decide what will help you be more spiritually healthy as you go on with life.

While there could be many more elements of a spiritual checkup, these are the key ones. If you aren’t sure how to start, you might want to talk to a pastor or work through this with a trusted friend.

May you be spiritually renewed going forward.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

UNSTUCK: A Nine-Step Journey to Change that Lasts – by Tim Lane

Tim Lane walks through a 9-step process to deal with lasting personal change. If there is an issue or a habit you are dealing with and would like to change, he believes his 9 steps will help you work your way through and overcome. He uses some examples from his own life and people he has helped to show how to work the process. If you are looking to make personal change, check out this book.

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

THE PRACTICE OF THE PRESENCE OF GOD – By Brother Lawrence

This book describes how Bother Lawrence practiced the presence of God in the mundane practices of life. It was in 1666 that he became a lay brother among the Carmelites at Paris. His main role was to work in the kitchen. He practiced the presence of God in his everyday activities, so much so that he felt that time for devotions distracted him from his time with God. He was continually aware of God’s presence, as if he had a continuous uninterrupted conversation with God. “I desire only Him, and to be wholly devoted to Him. He pointed out the need to be fully committed to God, “no soul which delights in earthly things, can find full joy in the Presence of God.” This is a little old book that packs a big punch if you want to draw near to God.

Reacting To An Offense

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Has anyone at church ever offended you, or said something you didn’t agree with? Or has something happened publicly in the church that you were offended with? When a public offense occurs in the church, the first thought often is to write up a new policy. When we are part of a church, we are part of a group of people who will at times do something or say something that you don’t like. Each of us have different standards in our homes, and we likely have slightly different understandings of how to interpret and apply biblical truths.

When reacting to a situation in our church, we may act out of a desire to have policies and guidelines governing everything so that everyone does everything exactly the same. This is impossible to do. There will always be someone who does something you don’t like. So, how do we best respond to that perceived offense?

As I’ve worked with various churches and congregations, I’ve learned (and am continuing to learn) how to respond to situations where individuals are offended within the church. These may not necessarily be steps to follow in this order but are some helpful thoughts and questions I’ve learned to ask when working through the perceived offense.

  1. Is this an issue about me or about the other person?

Did the person actually do something wrong, or is the problem with me and the standards I am trying to push onto another person? Sometimes we just don’t like what another person does, but it doesn’t mean that what they’ve done is wrong.

  2. Is there a real issue to address?

If we believe there was truly an offense committed by the other person, what is the real issue? Did they do something that is spiritually wrong? It could be they did something that scripture can easily correct if they are shown the appropriate verses. Is this morally wrong? Did they do something that is generally believed to be wrong and offensive? What is the real issue that needs addressing? Why is what they did, wrong?

3. If an offense has occurred, what is the best response?

Jesus gives some practical advice in Matthew 18:15-17, about how to react when we see a fellow Christian sinning.

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

If you believe someone else has sinned, you have a responsibility to address that as a brother or sister in Christ. Pray about it and be careful as you address it.

What if it wasn’t a sin, but just something that the church generally has agreed is not acceptable? I would suggest being very careful when addressing any issue with people to be clear on what the issue is, to do it with kindness and love, not vindictively or angrily.

Also, make sure the appropriate person deals with the issue. Depending on the situation, it might be best for the person who noticed the issue to speak up, or it might be more appropriate for a different leader to step in.

4. Protect the dignity of the person who has caused the offense.

If something has happened that must be addressed, do it carefully.

Pray about it before doing anything, and then look for a way to approach the person with the concern that communicates as clearly as possible that this is a desire to help the other person and not to hurt or condemn them.

5. Is there an immediate response required?

If at all possible, take some time before responding. Take time to pray. Take time to clearly assess the issue. Take time to think through exactly what to say and how to best say it.

6. Is a new policy necessary?

Often an offense is a one-time occurrence. This does not need a new policy or more guidelines. On the rare occasion that an issue demands new policies and guidelines, determine these prayerfully and carefully, and with input from affected people.

The church is made up of many different individuals. We have all chosen to be part of this local church. As such, we need to see each other as brothers and sisters and do our absolute best to get along. We should be slow to speak and slow to get angry, while quick to encourage and love. If something has truly been done that is wrong, ask God to guide you as you address the issue. Remember, someone else may approach you too if they think you have done something wrong.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

7 FRIENDSHIPS EVERY MAN NEEDS – by Justin Erickson

Erickson suggests that every man needs these 7 friends in their life to live a full life. Here are his seven friends: a mentor to disciple you, a Peter to encourage you, a best friend to uphold you, a courageous brother to confront you, a faithful disciple to follow you, a lost seeker to hear you, and a gracious Savior to befriend you. He presents some well though out chapters on the value of each one, comparing them to the value of a pit crew to a Nascar driver. While I do agree that most of us men could use more friends, I think it is highly unlikely that any man will have seven solid friendships in their life at the same time. Some of those roles may be played by the same person, or at times we may have a friend in a certain role for a season, yet his premise holds true: Men need to find more good friends to walk through life with.

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

LEADING WITH A LIMP – by Dan B. Allender, PhD.

Allender states this as his core assumption for the book: “To the degree you face and name and deal with your failures as a leader, to that same extent you will create an environment conducive to growing and retaining productive and committed colleagues.” If you try to hide your failures as a leader, you will need to be more controlling of others around you. He says that in God’s leadership model, “He calls us to brokenness, not performance; to relationships, not commotion; to grace, not success.” While leaders often feel compelled to show they know everything and are definitely the right people for the job, they would be better off admitting their weaknesses since  everybody else can see them anyway, and work more on a good relationship with people than just trying to get the most out of them for the task at hand. Allender offers this great quote as he talks about the difficulty of being a leader and casting vision. “One can speak of vision and mission, calling and opportunity until the cows come home, but when the day ends, most people want nothing more demanding than some television and a few uncomplicated laughs.” He speaks honestly of the hard work of being a leader while giving hope from God’s perspective. A great leadership book that makes one think.

3 Ideas to Renew Your Passion

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A while back I realized that my passion for my job was fading. When I started the job, I was excited and could see new opportunities. I loved the vision and purpose of the group I was leading. I loved working with these people because of their heart for the church and their desire to grow in their relationship with Jesus.

There are times in my life as a pastor that I have had to renew and restore my passion for my role. I always want to give my best and be excited about what I am working on, but I realized that initial excitement had faded. So I decided I needed to work on renewing my passion for that role, and here is what I did.

Add Variety

One reason I tend to lose passion is because I get bored with routine. I long for some creativity and variety.

I add variety in my preaching. This is an area that I have control over, so may be one of the first places I can work at renewing my passion. For example, I might use a video or story to help people connect with the sermon. I might use an object lesson and provide those items to each person when they arrive at church. Beyond Sunday sermons, I might identify a project that I could initiate with others to help us work toward our vision.

Celebrate something.

Sometimes the boring monotony can be awakened to new passion when I take a moment to reflect on the exciting things happening. Good things are happening. God is at work. People are being changed. Programs are reaching people. People are responding to sermons and applying what they learn. When I get stuck in feelings of boredom, I can identify reasons to celebrate. I might celebrate by myself, or with my family, or my coworkers or church. It’s amazing what praising and thanking God can do in lift my spirits and reawakening that passion for my role.

Talk to God about it.

There are times I have taken a mini-retreat – maybe even just an afternoon away from my office – where I can stop everything and talk with God. I talk with Him about what is going on and how my passion is fading. I ask him to show me where I need to focus. I ask Him to give direction. Often this time with God reaffirms my calling, renews excitement in me about what God is doing and inviting me into. Sometimes I come away with new ideas, other times it is a re-enforcing of what I already knew I was to do. But the time with God reminds me of my role and what I need to be doing.

There is often an ebb and flow in the intensity of our passion for the work we are doing. Don’t let it fade too long. Choose to renew your passion again and again so that you will enjoy your role and will continue to contribute well to the vision you and your team or church are pursuing.

What are some ways you have renewed your passion? Let me know.

Keep looking up,

Andy

The Inadequate Leader

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If anyone is following you, then you are a leader.

Some of us are natural leaders. Our personality and character attracted others who willingly followed us even as a child.

Some of us are reluctant leaders. We have been pushed into positions that we were not looking for. Maybe we were just a little more qualified than others, or the only one who said yes. But all of us are “inadequate leaders”.

Inadequate leaders are those who recognize that they don’t have all the answers, or all the skills needed for their position.

Many leaders lack experience. You only get experience by doing something. That means there is always a first time, a time when you have no experience, but you lead anyway. You may have experience in similar situations or in a similar role with less responsibility, but all of us at some point will be moving beyond the experience we have. If you never get to that place, then you are never growing as a leader. Maybe you are okay with that, but you still had to do something for the first time to even get to the level you are at.

If you lack experience, that means you may be inadequate for the task. So, what can you do? If you are an analytical person, you can try to come up with a perfect way to move even if you haven’t been in that situation before. You could ask for advice from others who have experience where you are lacking. Invite them to speak into your situation, and even though their experience isn’t yours, find some ideas to try in your own case. Gather your team and invite them to collaborate with you to find the right way ahead, and build on the experience you – and those around you – already have.

What if you realize you don’t have the skills you need to lead? Not only do you not have the experience to lead in this situation, you also lack the skills needed. There may be some ways to learn and develop those skills. Education is always an option. Find a seminar or a book or a class that will train you in this new skill. Again, as in the situation of lacking experience, invite someone who has the skills to train you. Ask for time with them to talk through how the skill works and spend time observing and learning from their example. Another option may be to bring in someone on a short-term contract or invite someone to join your team who can fill in the areas you lack. There may be times you step away from a situation to allow someone more suited to lead.

You may feel like an inadequate leader because you are responsible for more than you can accomplish in the time you have. First, make sure you are not carrying responsibilities that are not yours and hand them off to the appropriate people on your team. Second, find someone to work with you. May leaders have strong assistants who may be good leaders in their own right, but who love supporting you in your leadership role. You need someone who will respond to delegation, and who gets to know you well enough to do things the way you would if you had the time.

Sometimes we feel inadequate because of what people say to us or about us. There are times to listen to others and times to recognize if they are an authority in your life or not. No one can please everyone all the time. Be clear on what your role is, your job description, the vision you are pursuing, and don’t be distracted by those who want to speak into your life but truly have no right to.

Every leader will feel inadequate at times. If not, then you are no longer growing, and if you are no longer growing, you are quite possibly falling behind. Others will come along who will bypass your leadership because they are continuing to grow and learn and develop. While we cheer on those who are excelling next to us, we want to continue to be the best that we can be. The value of recognizing when and where we are inadequate is that we recognize where we need to grow to continue to lead well.

If you are an inadequate leader, that’s okay. Just look for ways to grow.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Moms – and Other Mentors In Our Life

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Whoever you are as a person – who you are right now – you didn’t get to become this person completely on your own. There were people along the way that helped you become you, who shaped you intentionally and accidentally.

One of the great shapers of our life is often our Mother. The one who gave birth to us is usually the one who cares for us from birth to adulthood. While not all are fortunate to be raised by their mother, mothers impact who we are and who we become. Moms are there to help us learn the skills of life. From learning to walk to how to care for our hygiene. They, usually in tandem with your father, prepare you for adulthood. Many do it with great care and direction.

My mom was a “stay-at-home” mom, so she was always there. She was there when I woke up in the morning. She got breakfast ready and packed our lunches for school. She was there after school waiting to hear how the day went. And along the way I learned things like sharing and looking both ways before crossing the street. My siblings and I are most likely not even aware of all she taught us.

Many of us have others who played significant roles in our life. For example, maybe there was a teacher who took time to explain the math question until you finally got it, or the one who encouraged your creativity as you learned to draw. Or maybe you remember a camp counselor who listened to you and encouraged you as you were hurting. For me, there was a man in the church, a friend of my Dad’s, who I never spent much time with but whom I looked up to. I watched how he handled life, his business and his involvement in the church.

Some of us became leaders because someone encouraged us. I remember my brother being told at a young age, “you are a leader. Be careful where you lead people.” Other kids just naturally followed him, and did what he did. I was much more a follower. Some of us became musicians because a band teacher affirmed our musical abilities and encouraged us to do well with that.

I am a pastor because the president of my bible college, Reuben Kvill, encouraged me to consider a pastoral internship. I was not interested in being a pastor, but he encouraged me in that direction. It was during my internship that God affirmed that calling in me to become a pastor. Mr. Kvill took a personal interest in me and spoke words of encouragement to me. This had profound impact.

Another significant man in my life was Phil. Phil was a full-time missionary. He had served overseas and was now reaching out to the Hindu community in Edmonton. He taught an Evangelism Explosion class, where the curriculum taught us how to share our faith, but also included “field” practice where we went out with another more experienced person to share our faith and invite people to come to know Jesus. The casual conversations along with the formal classes instilled in me a desire to reach people for Jesus that has impacted all the years since.

We all have people who have helped us along the way. Some of us have a few, others have many, but we need to recognize that we did not become who we are on our own. We each have had help to become who we are and develop some of the skills we have.

Will you do the same? Will you look for people whom you can pass your knowledge and information on to? It may be in a formal setting like my Explosion Evangelism class. It may be in meaningful conversations where you encourage and affirm what is good in the other person’s life. You can suggest they consider a new opportunity in their life. Take time to slow down and notice the people around you. And then, when you can, speak into their lives in the way that your mom and other mentors did for you.

I want to finish with one final recognition. A large part of who I am is because of God in my life. There are times when I have felt God speaking or impressing something on my heart that caused me to shift direction in my career. God has encouraged and affirmed me even when many around me did not. I thank God for the people He has put in my path to help shape me.

Let’s thank God for the people who have helped us, and then look for whom to help next.

Keep Looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Confronting Carefully

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Like most leaders, I am in a position in which I must occasionally have conversations with people that I would much rather avoid. I had to confront someone recently. I had to address a problem that had come up. This is never an easy conversation to have and one that could easily go wrong. A conversation like this should not be rushed into quickly, but prepared for carefully.

Here are a few things I have learned over the years about how to confront carefully.

Engage the Person Respectfully.

No matter what the issue is, or how terribly they may have messed up, when you meet with the person be respectful of them as a person.

This is not a time to make them feel inadequate, but a time to be clear on what they are doing wrong and how it can be fixed. Ideally, the goal is to fix the situation even as you maintain a good relationship.

Confront Prayerfully.

One of the ways to make sure that you are being careful is to ask God to guide your conversation. Ask God into the conversation. Ask God for wisdom. Ask Him for the ability to listen and truly hear the other person to make sure you are not making assumptions as you confront. Pray about this beforehand, and during, and even after so that neither you nor the person you spoke with will misconstrue things that came up in the conversation.

Clarify the Issue.

It helps to clarify the problem. Make sure you know what it is that you are addressing. This is not about some vague feeling something is wrong, or doing something because someone else is pressuring you. If you are going to confront someone, you must be clear on what the issue is. Clarify the issue in your mind, and then be clear when you address it in your conversation. If you need to, write down a few key points, or even the main statement you want to make so you don’t waffle in the middle of the conversation and back off the issue to the point the person has no idea what you are addressing. You want to make sure you address the issue correctly.

Determine a Solution.

If you are addressing someone about a problem, it is essential that you have an idea of how to fix the problem. Simply pointing out a problem doesn’t solve the problem. Once you are clear about the issue, then become clear on one or more ways of addressing it. If the issue demands one specific response – for example, “be on time”, then be clear that is the response required. If the issue allows for a number of solutions, identify a few options that the other person may choose from. Make sure that the solution matches the problem.

Arrange the Meeting.

Where you meet will determine the atmosphere, and even the conversation. If there is a specific problem about a role at work, then meet in your office, or the board room. If there is an issue with someone you know well, and you want to be less confrontational, you might do it over a coffee, or a meal. Remember that when and where you have the meeting will play into how the confrontation will go. It might be good to give the person a heads up about what you will be addressing.

Listen as you Converse.

As you point out the problem, listen to the response from the other person. You want to make sure, first, that you are correct in your own understanding of what they did wrong, but also listen to make sure they understand what you are telling them.

Be clear and precise on the problem. Allow them an opportunity to defend their actions or clarify why they did what they did. Present the solutions as you see them, and then invite a response to see if they understand and whether they will respond as you need them to.

Know Your Next Steps Ahead of Time.

When you confront, you need to be clear on what you will do based on how they respond. If they agree with you and accept a solution to try, then you have made good progress. If they deny everything you are saying and try to blame others, you need to know if you will give them another chance or if it is time to part ways. If you are willing to move ahead together, you may want to set up follow up meeting with them soon after to see if issues have been resolved or not.

Confront carefully. You want to be clear what you the problem is and what the solution can be. You also want to be clear that you are focusing on the work the person is doing or how they are relating to the rest of the team, without putting them down personally.

Yes, we do need to confront occasionally. Hopefully we do it well. We want to honour the person and honour Christ even as we have the tough conversations.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe