friends

The Fun of Getting to Know People

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The church is people. Being a church leader and pastor means being a leader of people. Every leader needs to recognize the value of getting to know the people they lead in a personal way. I enjoy getting to know people because as you get to know people you find out what they are passionate about and how they contribute to their community. Many people have unique skills they are using to help others that you wouldn’t know unless you get to know them.

Personal Connections

Some of the fun of getting to know people is finding you share common friends or have similar origins. When I meet someone for the first time, if I learn that we know the same people or are familiar with the same places, it immediately gives us something to talk about even though we just met.

Unique Skills

Last night, over supper with friends, I learned that the one friend translates children’s songs from English or Spanish into Low German. There are not many Low German children’s songs so she finds good songs in other languages, translates them to Low German as best she can, records herself singing them, and uploads the recording and song for Low German speaking parents to use for their children. I think that is fantastic! I would never have known about her unique contribution to other parents if I had not had opportunity to be in a conversation with her.

Personal Pain

I recently had a conversation with a young couple who are hurting because of an illness in their family. They have had to go through many difficult adjustments as they deal with a family member who lost their memory and the ability to function on their own. As a pastor, hearing the pain in their voices as they shared the story gives me a fuller picture of the realities of their life and and how they are trying to manage life. This informed perspective will also help me be a bit more forgiving when he doesn’t make it to every board meeting because he has unexpected responsibilities to deal with at home. Gaining a fuller understanding of people on our team and people we serve reminds us to view people as humans with complicated lives.

Passions

As we get to know people, we get to know what makes them tick, and what they are passionate about. Some are passionate about people, others about projects. Many people have certain values that they regard with extra importance. For example, knowing which people are passionate about youth or the poor can guide you when recruiting volunteers for youth or the food bank ministries.

Potential Friends

Some people warn pastors not to become friends with people in their church. Others say pastors need to be friends with everyone. Pastors need friends too, and as they get to know people they discover new friends. Its natural that we become better friends with some people in the church than others, so don’t be afraid to get to know people as friends.

I encourage every pastor and church leader to go out of their way to get to know the people they lead. You will gain personally, as will your church, if you get to know them.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

What Energizes You?

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A friend of mine is going through a difficult stage in life. His job is not what he would like and leaves him exhausted at the end of the day when he wants to spend time with his family. He has a large debt that he is working to clean up among other issues that stress him out. When I asked him what fills him up, he answered, “Right now, I have no clue.” He is so overwhelmed with life that trying to think of something that would help energize him seems impossible.

What fills up your tank? There is value in finding something that energizes you.

Being in nature fills me up. I love driving through the mountains, enjoying the scenery and watching for wildlife. My wife and I stopped at a little heart-shaped lake in the Pine Pass in northern British Columbia this fall. Heart Lake is nestled at the foot of some mountains, surrounded by towering pines and spruce. When you walk out on the little dock, the water is so clear you can see right to the bottom of the lake. We enjoyed sitting at a picnic table, reading, then pausing to take in the scenery, and repeating that process. It filled me up.

Sometimes spending time with the right person fills me up. We all know there are certain people who drain you. They draw energy from you. But there are others who make you feel good. There have been times when my wife has told me, “You should really talk to so and so.” Or “you should have lunch with your friend.” There are a few men in my life, who, when I spend a little time with them, leaves me encouraged and energized.

Some of you might get energized by reading a good book. I love to read. It might be a novel or a book that challenges me spiritually. I love to learn, and reading helps me to do that. And it can fill up my tank.

I’m also a project person. I love working on a project where there is a clear goal in mind that I can work toward. I get filled up when I can contribute to something meaningful that cumulates in a well-done finished project.

What fills you up? If you are not sure, maybe you need to ask someone close to you. They may have seen where you shine and where you seem to act happier. As I said earlier, my wife sometimes reminds me to take time to be with one of my energizing friends.

If you feel you have no idea what energizes you it may be time to try new things. Even though it sometimes doesn’t seem like it, you are in charge of your calendar, and your time. I know that we all have demands on us from work and family and other commitments we are tied to, but we should all have even a few minutes here or there to spend on our own well-being.

Identifying what fills you up, and then spending time doing that activity is an important way to fill us up amid the stresses of life. When we get hungry, we eat. When we have been giving and giving too long, we begin to lose ambition and get short-tempered. We need to “eat” something that will restore joy and inner peace.

Some pastors take a sabbatical for a period of weeks and months. While time off is good, even in that scenario, the true value comes not just from taking time off to rest but spending time in our “tank filling” activities. If you are married, you might want to help each other enjoy your energizing activities. This could look like covering for each other in the home for half an hour or so occasionally so the other person can have a few moments to spend on themselves.

Let me finish with one more suggestion, probably the one we should have started with, and one that should remind us that any “tank filling” attempts fall short if we are not right with the One who created us and wants to walk through life with us. A key “tank filling” experience is to have some quiet time to spend with just you and God. You could read scripture. The Psalms may encourage you as the psalmist cries out to God with the same emotions you are feeling. Or you can read the Old Testament stores and be encouraged that God uses even the busy and messed up people for his purposes. You could spend some time talking with God. Think of it as a conversation. Ask him for encouragement and joy. You might want to sing songs of praise, or one of the old hymns. Taking time to be with God can fill a person up.

Remember that God created us all unique, with unique ways of being re-energized and filled up for the next day.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

29 Ways to Share Jesus with Someone Who Doesn’t Want to Hear it

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I am a Christian. I love Jesus, and am greatly thankful for the salvation He has given me. I want others to have that same experience with God, to find purpose in life, and peace and joy today and for the future. The reality is that some people do not want to hear about church or Jesus.

It is quite difficult to share Jesus with people who do not know Jesus and have clearly indicated that they do not want to know Jesus. All of us associate with people who do not yet know Jesus.

How do we share Jesus with them when they have already said they don’t want anything to do with Him or with church?

I think this is an especially difficult reality for those living in smaller rural towns. You know people, and you know their families. People know you and your family. You may have grown up with many of them and went to school with them. They know you are part of a church, and you know they are not. It seems that there is no way to help them see they need Jesus because they have clearly told you they want no part of that.

Some say they don’t come to church because it is too hard with kids. Others say they tried church and didn’t like it, or they were hurt by it, or “they are all hypocrites there.” So inviting them to church seems like an impossible and useless endeavor.

Ok, then. If we are to be faithful to share Jesus “as we go into all the world,” as we go on with life and all of its activities, what can we do to reach them with the good news of great joy? Let me share a bunch of ideas that can all be part of sharing Jesus with unbelievers. These will all lie on a spectrum between no interest in Jesus, to asking how they can become a Christian.

  1. Pray for at least 3 people you know who do not know Jesus.
  2. Invite your unbelieving friends into your home for a meal. And just do what you normally do, pray for the meal, have your conversations, enjoy time together.
  3. Remember their special days. Wish them Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary, etc. Maybe even get them a gift for Christmas.
  4. Be a good friend.
  5. Tell them you are praying for them. This might work best when they are facing a difficult issue in their life. Maybe pray for them right there if the situation is right.
  6. Bake cookies and share them. While I was driving truck, my coworkers sure enjoyed days when I brought cookies my wife baked and left them in the breakroom. If you don’t bake, buy your coworkers a dozen or two of donuts or bring in coffee.
  7. Give them a hand. If you are good with mechanics, offer to help whey they are having car trouble. If you are good with construction, help them out when they are building a deck. If they are sick, take them supper. Use your experience and skills to help your friends.
  8. Share your stuff. Lend your ladder, or pizza pan, or air compressor. Let them borrow your truck if they don’t have one.
  9. Do something for them. Take their stuff to the landfill when you take yours.
  10. Include them in a party or get-together you are having. This is good when you are already having a bunch of church people over. They get to see that everyone is normal – hopefully. And then your friends can pray with you for this unbelieving friend.
  11. Workout together. I did this for quite a while with one unbelieving friend who was checking out our church. I got to baptize him later.
  12. Read the Bible together. Some people are interested in the Bible, even if not in church. One member of my small group shared that her neighbor came over weekly to read the Bible together. You can help them understand what things mean.
  13. Host a backyard BBQ. Invite them to join your family.
  14. Offer to house sit for them when they go away for summer vacation.
  15. Share rides back and forth to work.
  16. Give them a book on a prominent Christian. They may be interested in reading about a certain athlete who did well on the field, oh, and happens to be a Christian.
  17. At Easter, invite them to watch the latest Easter movie with you.
  18. Ask questions. Don’t be a pest, and don’t be a reporter, but be interested in the other person’s life.
  19. Share a hobby. If you find out you are both interested in chuckwagon races, plan to go together.
  20. Share an answer to prayer with them. People can’t argue with something that you experienced. They may not be interested, but they can’t say you didn’t have that experience. You prayed and God answered in a way you felt was just for you.
  21. Give them a Bible on a special occasion. For example, when their child graduates, gift them a Bible for Graduates.
  22. Share your testimony. This doesn’t have to happen all at once, but share bits of your story when it fits in conversations you have over the years. Tell them your experience with God. Tell them how that has helped you in life.
  23. Invite them to church for special occasions. Christmas Eve or Easter might be good times to invite them. Or if a child is getting baptized, invite them to the celebration. They may come to celebrate with you even in they are not interested in Jesus or church. Who knows what God might say to them in that church service?
  24. Ask what they believe. Invite them to tell you how they view life. This may make them question what they truly believe, and maybe start them searching.
  25. Tell them about a good sale. If you found a good deal somewhere, let them know, or even ask them if they would like you to pick something up for them too.
  26. Speak of Jesus and church naturally. It’s amazing what sometimes gets talked about at work, or after a game. Some conversations may naturally lead you to make a comment about something that happened at church, or what you read in the Bible about Jesus.
  27. Say Grace. Sometimes we hesitate to pray for our meal when we are at work or out with friends. Don’t make a scene, but just quietly do what you would normally do.
  28. Invite them to go with you on a missions trip. This might be a little tricky, but if it is more of a hands-on serving trip, rather than an evangelistic trip, it might be quite okay to have an unbeliever join you.
  29. Go hunting together – whether for a moose, or for that perfect pair of shoes for your daughter’s graduation.

I hope you get the point. If you truly want to win someone to Christ, you need to be a friend. This is not about seeing certain people as a project but just becoming friends with people you are in contact with already.

You may think some of the suggestions in the list are really just about being a good friend and not really about outreach, but that is exactly the point. You need to be intentional, in making friends and being a good friend. The idea is to find ways to be friends, and then talk with them about Jesus as you already do with the friends you already have. We can pray for them regularly, asking God to draw them and work in their lives. It may take years, and then when it happens, it will be so exciting!

Keep looking up

Andy