I noticed a driver sitting at an intersection, treating a merge lane like a stop sign. There was an open lane in front of her, but she was stopped, waiting for the traffic to end. She did not seem to understand that the lane she was about to enter was wide open. It was only as she entered the lane that she would be able to accelerate to the traffic speed and merge over into the lane she was hoping to get into. And at times I have done the same thing. I know I should merge but hesitate because it seems like there is no room, especially if I have not driven that road before.

Merge signs generally indicate two roads or lanes joining into one. Two common places these signs are used is at intersections where they assist in free flow turning and, on the highway, where a multiple lane highway narrows to one less lane. These signs alert drivers to cooperate and allow those in the lane that is ending to enter their lane.

There are two roles for drivers when encountering a merge sign that reminds me of two experiences in life.

ONE: Merging from one lane into the other

Some of us are cautious drivers. We do not want to force our way into traffic. It seems too dangerous to use the merge lane when others are going by at the speed limit – or faster. An introvert can relate.

This is how introverts often feel in life. Merging into new situations brings fear of the unknown. They do not want to force themselves into new situation or new relationships. It seems dangerous. The others already all know each other. Will they welcome me? It is tempting to not even try new situations or to get to know new people. What if it doesn’t work out well?

If we are caught in a merge lane in life and are hesitating to move over into the main flow of traffic, we need to recognize that the merge lane eventually ends, and with it, your opportunity to make friends with that person or try that new experience. Sometimes, as we hesitate, life moves on by. Do not be too afraid to try something new. And if it doesn’t work out, try something else.  Push yourself to continue to learn and grow. It doesn’t matter whether we are introverts or extroverts, we need to develop perseverance to keep trying new things and looking for new friendships.

TWO: Allowing others to merge into my lane

Some of us need to learn how to consider the needs of others and allow them to merge into our lane. This applies to more than smooth and safe traffic. This applies to life as well. We need to be aware of those around us who are having a hard time fitting in. It may be at church, or at work, or even in our neighbourhood. We need to open our circles to others who need a place to connect.

Sometimes we get frustrated with people who are not aware or understanding of what we try to do as leaders. Slow adopters annoy us because we have a plan and want people to follow us at our pace. It may be that there needs to be space and time given for those who are still figuring out how to merge into your lane. Leadership requires clear communication of vision and patience for people to get it and move into pursuing it. Let’s learn to make room for others.

We need to make sure we do not treat merge signs as stop signs but slowly and steadily move into the traffic flow. We can ask God to give us determination to push ahead when we are scared, and ask God to give us patience for those who are slow to merge in.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe