support

We All Need Someone to Lean On

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Many pastors are lonely. Many don’t have a team of staff to talk things through with. Recently I have again recognized the value of having other pastors to talk with and connect with. I have the privilege of being part of a few groups of pastors, but it has been a while since the one group has met and I realize I miss those get togethers.

In 2023 Barna.com shared a poll that highlighted the loneliness and isolation of pastors. Their poll shows “these feelings have increased significantly since 2015 when 42 percent of pastors shared they either frequently (14%) or sometimes (28%) felt this way. Now, 65 percent of pastors report feelings of loneliness and isolation, with 18 admitting these feelings occur frequently.” (7-Year Trends: Pastors Feel More Loneliness & Less Support)

As pastors, we need to take initiative to connect with others who understand what it its like being a pastor. Pastors can relate to us and pray for us in a way that others can’t. We all need good friends, and many of us have very supportive and encouraging families, but we do need to have other pastors in our circles too.

Many denominations have regular gatherings for local pastors. Take advantage of those. These are people who are in your circles and understand your church dynamics. In some places, there may not be others in the same denomination nearby; instead, connect with other pastors in your community. I have benefited greatly from connections with pastors from other denominations. We have different theological stands on some issues, but we all deal with the same day-to-day struggles of working with people and trying to have the answers our congregation needs.

One of the benefits of connecting with other pastors is that we can have people in our corner who understand us. Like any profession, it can be difficult to explain some aspects of being a pastor to others who are not. It is easier to celebrate and commiserate with people in the same field.

Other pastors may also be able to speak into our lives, offer words of encouragement, or ideas on how to handle certain situations we face. This is valuable support that requires you to open up to others.

Sometimes other pastors can help us develop our creativity as we hear of unique ministries or programs they run. We can help each other become better. Proverbs 27: 17 applies here:

As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

Do not be satisfied with your loneliness. Find other pastors to connect with, and encourage them as they encourage you.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Rejuvenating the Crushed Spirit

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The human spirit can endure a sick body,

    but who can bear a crushed spirit?

Proverbs 18:14

I came across this verse in my daily readings and immediately saw its application in today’s covid-ravaged world. Covid has hit many people, millions around the world. Many of us know someone who has been hospitalized, and even died. It’s amazing how positive some people can be in the middle of physical pain, even as they are facing death. Some people can keep their faith strong and their spirits up in the battle against physical odds. But the same people can be utterly crushed by loneliness, and despair, and frustration, and discouragement.

When we are sick, we know we have to fight the disease. Others join the battle with us – doctors and nurses who minister to us in the hospital, or friends and family that bring us food or look after our family while we are down and out with physical issues.

When we are sick in our spirit, it is harder to find the ones who will battle through it with us. We are less likely to open up about it to others. And when we do, people aren’t sure how to offer help. A friend told me a colleague had asked how he was doing. He answered, “Actually, I am having a pretty hard time right now.” The other answered, “Well we are all having a hard time right now”, and walked away. My friend had been hoping for some words of encouragement or at least an understanding that his spirit was crushed more than it had been in a long time.

Who is standing with you as you endure and try to “bear a crushed spirit”?

Some of us have a loving and caring spouse who can walk with us in our low times. We have agreed to be there for each other in “sickness and health… in good times and bad.” I have marveled at how many times God has arranged for me or my wife to be the one who supports the other. Often when my wife is feeling crushed, I am strong, and when I feel crushed in my spirit, she has been strong. But it is not always the case, and not everyone has a supportive spouse.

Some of us have the benefit of great friends. We have people in our lives that have gotten to know us and have stuck with us through the years. We can call on them and they will show up. A few years ago, we moved in with another couple for a few months. God arranged for us to support these friends even as they supported us. We were able to encourage and pray for each other. But not all of us have friends like that.

Some of us have great benefits or financial means to be able to go to a counsellor or therapist who can walk with us in our crushed spirits. Professionals like this can be a big help. They often have tools to use to encourage us, or even know how to refer us to others for further help. But not all of us have access to professional help.

I don’t know where you turn for help when yours spirit is crushed and you are barely hanging on. I hope you have someone.

I think one of the best places to find that supportive uplifting help we need is our church. Hopefully you have a church family that loves you and encourages you. If you don’t, I’m sure there is a church in your neighborhood that would love to welcome you in and support you and encourage you.

Church services are great because they point us to Christ. Jesus knows all about us. He lived the life of a human on our earth for 33 years. He understands our crushed spirit pain – and wants to help. When we sing songs of praise and worship we are encouraged. My wife and I were in a low point when we began attending a new church. It was amazing how God used the worship services and encouragement of the pastors and congregation to lift us up and to revive our spirit. If you do not have a church where you are being revived, then look for another one where you will be.

Some of you are pastors. You are the leaders of a church and you are not sure you are getting that reviving that I am talking about. You feel that no one is noticing how low you are, and no one seems to have time to care for you. That may be true. You know your situation. If this is you, then look for places where people specifically love to minister to pastors. My wife and I would highly recommend places like Focus on the Family’s Kerith Retreats. They exist specifically to encourage those in ministry.

If you are bearing a crushed spirit, Jesus wants to be your life. As you surrender your life to him, he truly wants to give you life, and life abundantly. Take time to talk with him. Pour out your heart. Maybe you want to write down your prayers and present them to God. Maybe you need to just cry out to him and ask him to move.

Do not give up. God wants to revive you. He wants to restore your crushed spirit to new life and new energy and joy. I pray that you will find that renewal in Him.

Keep looking up.

Andy Wiebe

http://www.elevatecoaching-consulting.com