volunteers

Church Leadership Series: Part 4: A Leader is Faithful to His Wife

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He must be faithful to his wife

1 Timothy 3: 2 (NLT) and Titus 1: 6 (NLT)

A church leader must be faithful to his wife – or her husband. Paul advises church leaders to remember their priorities. Yes, serving in the church is a good thing – a great thing even – but he warns them not to forget their responsibilities to their spouse as well. Many church leaders work full time jobs outside the church and serve the church with the left-over time they may have. Others work full time in the church as pastoral staff. It is easy to see the church work as being so important that you begin to neglect the person most important to you.

I am serving as a Transition Pastor which means I serve a church for about a year or so in preparation for their next full-time pastor. One of the things I like to do is work with the church to make a plan for the first 90 days of the new pastor’s ministry. I want to help them see the importance for balance in the pastor’s ministry. That same balance needs to be there for any church staff or volunteer. Remember that you need to consider your spouse and make time for them to.

Part of “faithfulness” to your spouse is giving them time too so you do not make them feel they are fighting the church for attention from you. Faithfulness involves giving them priority in your life.

Some versions of 1 Timothy 3: 2 are: “husband of one wife,” or even “man of one woman.” If you want to be a God-honouring church leader, you will protect your marriage. You will be committed to your spouse. You will protect that relationship and not let anyone else into that place that you hold for them.

It is the nature of church work that volunteers work closely with other volunteers. You pour your heart into what you are working on. You are dealing with spiritual issues, which sometimes become emotional issues. In the process, some leaders have begun to transfer feelings and thoughts they had for their spouse to the person they are working so closely with. Guard yourself against sharing too intimate details with someone who is not your spouse, especially if you are working with people from the opposite sex.

You can protect yourself from some of the dangers by doing a few simple things.

  • Never spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex

If you need to meet with someone in your office who is of the opposite sex, make sure your office is set up with windows that anyone walking by can see what is going on inside. Keep the door open. If that does not work, ask if you can have another person sit in on the conversation.

Don’t spend time working on projects with a person of the opposite sex. Invite others to work with you, or make sure that the work being done is out in the open where people are coming and going.  Protect yourself from any problems or perceived problems.

Never drive anywhere with only one person of the opposite sex in your car. Either take separate cars or invite another person to join you.

  • Tell your spouse everything.

Tell your spouse about what you are doing. When you are ever in a situation that may cause an issue, let your spouse know as soon as you can. The more open you are with your spouse the less you will be tempted in the wrong direction. Hiding things lets temptation grow, bringing them out in the open takes the power of that temptation away. And the more you share with your spouse, the more they will trust you as well.

  •  Set guidelines and policies.

The more that is made clear at the beginning, the easier it is to stay on track and protect your relationship with your spouse. Develop clear guidelines for your staff and volunteers to make sure you all understand your desire to protect relationships and marriages.

Church leaders, do everything you can to protect your marriage as you serve the church.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Do You Really See Your Team?

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We are quick to make judgements about people. Our first impressions can be completely wrong but we hold onto them anyway. Other times, the we may have known someone for a long time but do not realize they are not the same person they were years ago. For someone in a leadership role, there is a particular danger of viewing people one way and not realizing who they truly are and how they can be of help in our organization.

King Solomon, in Ecclesiastes, describes some of the unfortunate ways that people see others.

13 Here is another bit of wisdom that has impressed me as I have watched the way our world works. 14 There was a small town with only a few people, and a great king came with his army and besieged it. 15 A poor, wise man knew how to save the town, and so it was rescued. But afterward no one thought to thank him. 16 So even though wisdom is better than strength, those who are wise will be despised if they are poor. What they say will not be appreciated for long. (Ecclesiastes 9: 13-16, NLT)

These people greatly benefited from the wisdom of a poor person. They appreciated the rescue but did not appreciate the person. We are like these townspeople: quick to write people off, even if they have valuable gifts and insights. We see them a certain way and do not allow that to change as we begin to get to know them and what they offer.

Because of this oversight, we – and by extension our teams and organizations – may lose out on valuable skills and insight just because we have identified a person in one way so we do not think they have anything to add.

King Solomon continues:

5 There is another evil I have seen under the sun. Kings and rulers make a grave mistake 6 when they give great authority to foolish people and low positions to people of proven worth. 7 I have even seen servants riding horseback like princes—and princes walking like servants! (Ecclesiastes 10: 5-7, NLT)

Our quick judgements can create further damage when we choose to promote or demote the wrong people. This can be due to existing relationships or the desire to honour certain people. The unfortunate result is that we listen to the advice of the wrong person when there is someone much wiser nearby.

Most of us work with teams and volunteers in some way at some point in our life. This is especially true in ministry, when programs and services rely on staff and volunteers.

Get to know these staff and volunteers. This could be through personality tests, or at a minimum, putting in the effort to get to know each person well enough to see how they can contribute best. Intentionally take time with this in order to avoid making quick assumptions or writing someone off because of one or two missteps. Often the best outcome happens when people are in roles that suit them best, and it often takes time to identify these roles and responsibilities.

As you work with your teams and notice people are in the wrong roles, be brave enough to reorganize and reassign individuals to roles where they will excel and your team will be better in the long run.

I love to get things done, but I have realized that there are times where I am better off taking time to get to know people first. As we get to know each other, I will learn where someone can serve and give their best, and we will be able to communicate better because I know them and they know me.

Good organizations will have a regular system of evaluating people. The leader does a formal review every six months or a year to continue to help the person get better. In the evaluation, the leader can also discern if this person is still a fit here or would fit better in a different role. A system of regular evaluation is good, but the personal relationships are even better. As you develop good relationships with your key people, they will be brave enough to approach you when they want to learn or grow in a certain area or if they would like to try a different role. If open communication is valued and practiced, you will be more likely to continually give the right responsibilities to the right people.

So much of what we do in life involves working with people. Let’s figure out how to help our teams be the best by putting the right people in the right seats where everyone can contribute their best.

Get to know your people first, then get the work done.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

The Incredible Value of Checklists!

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During one of our breaks from pastoral ministry, I learned to drive a school bus. It was definitely an interesting experience. When I was about to complete the season, another driver commented that I had lasted very well on the worst run in the city. I picked up inner city kids and took them to school. Most of them came from difficult situations, but I tried to find ways of connecting with them and encouraging them.

As I was taking my training for my Class 2 license, which you need to drive a bus, the instructor walked me through a detailed list of what to check each morning to ensure the bus was safe to drive. This is not unique to driving busses; truckers have a similar pre-trip check to do. Usually this is done with a memorized checklist, but when I was later driving bus for a different company, they had a specific checklist I had to go through and sign each morning.

Checklists help you to make sure you remember to check all the important things. This applies to many places in life.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

I go through a mental checklist most evenings before I head to bed:

  • Is my lunch prepared?
  • Have I laid out my clothes for the next work day?
  • Did I brush my teeth?
  • Did I remember to take my medications?
  • Did I set my alarm?
  • Did I plug in my phone?

The list helps me to remember what I want to remember.

Checklists can help you to train new volunteers at church. Checklists are doubly useful in training, both for the trainer and the new volunteer.  A checklist ensures the trainer knows exactly what training needs to take place. The checklist will remind them of what paperwork needs to be filled out, or what activities need to be practiced. The new volunteer can also be provided with a checklist to remind them what needs to be done.

Let’s pretend you are training a new worship leader. You can have them work alongside a current worship leader like an apprentice for a few weeks. The leader can make sure they are following the current checklist, a copy of which is then provided to the new volunteer. The checklist could look something like this:

  • Get the theme and scripture from the speaker for that Sunday.
  • Choose 5 songs that fit into that theme.
  • Sort/find the music for all musicians that will be leading worship with you.
  • Send the music titles (and music sheets) to all the worship staff and volunteers on your team.
  • Practice the music yourself.
  • Arrange practice time and practice with team during the week.
  • Arrange for all the team to come early on Sunday to do Sound checks
  • Etc.

Create lists according to the tasks that need to be done in each role, and encourage new volunteers to add to the list as they notice things that may have been missed.

I use a checklist like this in creating my sermons. I have a fairly long list that has certain comments and questions that help me think through my sermon from every aspect I think is important. Here are just a few things on my sermon checklist:

  • Who is the original audience?
  • How will this appeal to the 12-year-old boy in the pew?
  • What practical application steps can I suggest?
  • What are questions this scripture answers?

This list reminds me of what I have found to be important in the creating of a sermon. Some of them remind me of certain steps in my research. Other items remind me how to develop a good application at the end of the sermon. This is a list I have slowly compiled over the years, adding or adapting items as I discovered more steps I wanted to remember to use.

Checklists need to be open to adjustment. Sometimes a good book will encourage you to add another step. Over time some steps may be eliminated if they become irrelevant.

Checklists are a great tool to become better at what you do, to develop consistency, and to train new volunteers.

I’d love to hear about how checklists have helped you.

Keep looking up!

Andy