faithful

Church Leadership Series: Part 4: A Leader is Faithful to His Wife

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He must be faithful to his wife

1 Timothy 3: 2 (NLT) and Titus 1: 6 (NLT)

A church leader must be faithful to his wife – or her husband. Paul advises church leaders to remember their priorities. Yes, serving in the church is a good thing – a great thing even – but he warns them not to forget their responsibilities to their spouse as well. Many church leaders work full time jobs outside the church and serve the church with the left-over time they may have. Others work full time in the church as pastoral staff. It is easy to see the church work as being so important that you begin to neglect the person most important to you.

I am serving as a Transition Pastor which means I serve a church for about a year or so in preparation for their next full-time pastor. One of the things I like to do is work with the church to make a plan for the first 90 days of the new pastor’s ministry. I want to help them see the importance for balance in the pastor’s ministry. That same balance needs to be there for any church staff or volunteer. Remember that you need to consider your spouse and make time for them to.

Part of “faithfulness” to your spouse is giving them time too so you do not make them feel they are fighting the church for attention from you. Faithfulness involves giving them priority in your life.

Some versions of 1 Timothy 3: 2 are: “husband of one wife,” or even “man of one woman.” If you want to be a God-honouring church leader, you will protect your marriage. You will be committed to your spouse. You will protect that relationship and not let anyone else into that place that you hold for them.

It is the nature of church work that volunteers work closely with other volunteers. You pour your heart into what you are working on. You are dealing with spiritual issues, which sometimes become emotional issues. In the process, some leaders have begun to transfer feelings and thoughts they had for their spouse to the person they are working so closely with. Guard yourself against sharing too intimate details with someone who is not your spouse, especially if you are working with people from the opposite sex.

You can protect yourself from some of the dangers by doing a few simple things.

  • Never spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex

If you need to meet with someone in your office who is of the opposite sex, make sure your office is set up with windows that anyone walking by can see what is going on inside. Keep the door open. If that does not work, ask if you can have another person sit in on the conversation.

Don’t spend time working on projects with a person of the opposite sex. Invite others to work with you, or make sure that the work being done is out in the open where people are coming and going.  Protect yourself from any problems or perceived problems.

Never drive anywhere with only one person of the opposite sex in your car. Either take separate cars or invite another person to join you.

  • Tell your spouse everything.

Tell your spouse about what you are doing. When you are ever in a situation that may cause an issue, let your spouse know as soon as you can. The more open you are with your spouse the less you will be tempted in the wrong direction. Hiding things lets temptation grow, bringing them out in the open takes the power of that temptation away. And the more you share with your spouse, the more they will trust you as well.

  •  Set guidelines and policies.

The more that is made clear at the beginning, the easier it is to stay on track and protect your relationship with your spouse. Develop clear guidelines for your staff and volunteers to make sure you all understand your desire to protect relationships and marriages.

Church leaders, do everything you can to protect your marriage as you serve the church.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

EMBODIED: Transgender Identities, the Church and what the Bible has to say – by Preston Sprinkle

Sprinkle asks the question: If someone experiences incongruence between their biological self and their internal sense of self, which one determines who they are – and why?

He then walks through a thoughtful and biblical journey of defining the transgender issue, understanding what the real issues are, and looking at how the bible speaks to this struggle many people face. He finishes by addressing some of the realities of how to love transgender people in a way that is kind and reflects Jesus. A great book for one of today’s tough struggles.

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

SO BEAUTIFUL: Divine Design for Life and the Church – by Leonard Sweet

Leonard Sweet writes about what the church may be like if she was living up to their divine design. He suggests that there are three key aspects to consider. He calls it the MRI of the church: Missional, Relational, and Incarnational. He contrasts this with what he calls the APC church: Attractional, Propositional, and Colonial. I especially appreciated his discussion of the incarnational church where he highlighted the importance of a church understanding it’s local context and being truly the church for that context. Don’t copy other churches, be the church your own community needs to best hear the gospel of Jesus.

The Benefits of Scheduling Events on Your Calendar Regularly

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How do you remember meetings and appointments you have scheduled? As church leaders, we are often busy enough with our own families and work lives that we can easily forget some of our responsibilities at church. We have many options available to us if we want to keep track of our schedules. We can go old-school with a day timer or paper calendar. We can use calendars on our phones and computers. We can set alarms that remind us of an upcoming event. The problem is, these are no good unless you actually use them.

I recently talked with a church board who had just about missed planning a tradition in their church. Every Father’s Day, people would bring pies to share after church. This was tradition. Someone always reminded people and made sure it happened.  

This year, personnel had changed and no one remembered until the Friday before the special day. As a result, a few people were scrambling the day before to make sure everything was in place. If this event had gotten on the right calendar, it may have caused a lot less stress.

So what can we do? And what needs scheduling? Here are a few thoughts on scheduling and setting reminders ahead of time.

  • Choose a system of scheduling that works for you.

It doesn’t matter which system you use, the important thing is to choose one that you will continually use. Don’t use more than one system because then something is likely to fall through the cracks. 

  • Chart everything.

For me, I put everything on my calendar in my phone. When I say everything, I mean everything. All meetings are written there, whether board meetings, or board responsibilities. For bigger events, you may want to break down deadlines for parts of it to be done by earlier dates.

  •  Set reminder alarms

Often, I not only put the event at the correct date and time, I also put an alarm to remind me ahead of time so I can make sure I will be prepared and on time.

  •  Scheduling helps planning

Marking everything on your calendar allows you to also plan ahead for preparation time. Because I know of events far in advance, I know when to delegate certain aspects to other volunteers on my team. And of course, scheduling helps reduce conflicts because you know not to plan another event at the same time.

  •  Your calendar helps you say no

One value of charting everything on the same calendar is that you can see when you are getting overwhelmed and need to say no to something. If you don’t have everything – your work schedule and personal life – on your personal calendar, you may not realize how busy you are with both parts of your life at the same time. You do not need to feel guilty because you know you do not have time to take on anything else.

  • Watching your activities helps you see where you spend your time

We are not always aware of how we are spending our time. We get caught up in doing what needs to be done. When you look at your calendar and see that you are spending a large portion of your time doing things that have nothing to do with your vision, you need to adjust your activities. If you notice that an overwhelming amount of time is spent on work, and you are missing out on family time, you need to adjust your schedule.

Setting reminders of appointments and meetings and events can help you be more prepared for them, as well as help you see where you need to adjust your priorities.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Am I Qualified for Church Leadership?

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Leadership within the church is similar to leadership anywhere, because it is leading people. Yet it is quite unique in that you are asked to lead people on a lifelong journey toward Christ. This is not about building a business, though some business ideas can work in a church as it grows. This is not about pushing your personal brand or a personal vision that your employees all work toward. Instead, church leadership is first about God, and secondly, about people. It is about God’s vision for the world and His specific vision for your church in the part of the world where you are located. God’s vision is about drawing all people to Himself. It is about helping others to come to know God and pursue holy living.

When you are first elected to your position on a leadership board at your church, you may wonder if you really belong there. 1 Timothy 3:1–7 and Titus 1:6–9 are two examples of scripture that identify the qualifications of an elder. Basically, these say that an elder must show evidence of a relationship with God through faith in Jesus and filling of the Holy Spirit, as well as evidence of being a leader already, specifically in your own home.

None of us is perfectly Holy. None of us is exactly like God or as good as God. We are humans, saved by grace, and pursuing a relationship with Jesus that helps us become more like Him every day. But none of us can say to those following us, those in the rest of the church: “If you do exactly what I do, or live exactly like me, then you will be good.” All of us have faults. All of us are attacked or influenced by Satan and his various means of tempting us. It is important that we realize we are not perfect. This will help us have more patience when working with others who are also not perfect.

There is a big difference between those who are walking toward Christ and those who are walking away from Christ. There are some people who will declare they are Christians and may have prayed a prayer at some point in their life, but who are regularly and continually walking away from Jesus. These are people who are living with a certain sin and have found a way to live with it and be okay with it. And they want others to agree that it isn’t really that bad. There are most likely some in your church, but hopefully not on your leadership board.

There are some Christians who are clearly walking toward Christ. They are trying to become more like Jesus every day. They spend time with him in prayer and talk with him and listen to him regularly. These are people who recognize how sinful they still are, but who keep getting back up after each stumble in sin, ready to pursue Christ again. These are the people who love Jesus and want others to come to love Him as well. Does this sound like you? Then I would think you may very well be a candidate for leadership in the church.

We must recognize we are not perfect, and yet we are pursuing Christ. What else might make someone a good candidate for leadership? This might sound wrong, but often good leaders are ones who have not sought it out. They haven’t been campaigning the nominating committee or tried to show they knew better than the existing leaders. These are the ones who recognize how far they come short from the holiness of God. These are the Christians who recognize they have so much to learn. But these humble and gracious individuals are great for the board because they will never lord it over anyone. Some boards love the power and take advantage of people because of their position. A leader who is hesitant and not clamoring for attention will probably be a much kinder leader.

A leader in the church should also believe that God has asked them to serve in this position. While not a personal attribute that qualifies a person, there should be no doubt in a church leader’s mind that they are there because God wants them there. This may be affirmed by God speaking in whatever way He speaks to that person: highlighting a verse in Scripture, or a voice, or an impression, or even just the belief that God is guiding the membership as they elected that person to this position.

Sure, it might be nice to have some leaders who have Bible education, or who have experience, or who have natural charisma that draws people to them, those are not necessarily what makes a leader in the church. First, Love God with your whole heart and serve him, second, love people with a humble heart, and third, trust that God has placed you where you are. While there could be many other qualities we may look for in a church leader, these are key.

Are you a church leader? Lead with humble service before God, with the best in mind for the rest of the church, and with a deep faith that God will enable you to do your best where He has placed you.

Serve well, and keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2023 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

7 FRIENDSHIPS EVERY MAN NEEDS – by Justin Erickson

Erickson suggests that every man needs these 7 friends in their life to live a full life. Here are his seven friends: a mentor to disciple you, a Peter to encourage you, a best friend to uphold you, a courageous brother to confront you, a faithful disciple to follow you, a lost seeker to hear you, and a gracious Savior to befriend you. He presents some well though out chapters on the value of each one, comparing them to the value of a pit crew to a Nascar driver. While I do agree that most of us men could use more friends, I think it is highly unlikely that any man will have seven solid friendships in their life at the same time. Some of those roles may be played by the same person, or at times we may have a friend in a certain role for a season, yet his premise holds true: Men need to find more good friends to walk through life with.

Finish Well

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The start of a new job if often full of excitement and energy and ideas.

However, near the end of the job, it can be quite different. Whether you decided to hand in your resignation letter or you come to the end of a contract like me, it can be hard to finish with the same excitement.

I am coming to the end of a contract with a church right now. And I am trying to figure out what has to be done in the last two months here. I want to finish well, and not just coast across the finish line. I have been asking myself, “What can I do in these last two months that will help set the church up for a great future?” With that question in mind, I have determined what needs to be in my plans for the next few weeks.

Regular Duties

While I know that I will be leaving this position soon, that is not an excuse to quit doing the regular duties that I have been assigned. For me, I have to continue to preach and be available for caring for people right to the end of my time in this position. It doesn’t matter how close to the end I am, I need to serve them with the same commitment I did earlier.

People

I want to make sure that any people responsibilities I have are fulfilled. This includes letting people know or reminding them that I will be leaving soon. This is especially important when it comes to people who will be taking on tasks that I have maintained. Working with them before I leave and giving them a few pointers of what worked well will set them up for success.

Projects

One of my projects right now is to help the church set up their Search Committee and create and share a job posting for a full time Lead Pastor. As I finish up my contract as a transition pastor, I am helping the Search Committee with the process of posting the position and starting the hiring process.

My situation is quite specific, but for those who are resigning or retiring you may similarly want to help your organization as they find someone to fill your role.

Team Duties

Often, we are part of a team or a group of people who share responsibilities. For example, I work with the Elders Board at my church. As I near the end of my contract, I will continue to lead the team well, helping them to flesh out the vision we worked on together. I will help them prepare for the arrival of a new pastor so that his start will be planned out and he will have the best chance of success going forward.

Take time to finish your job well. Leave in such a way so that people think of you fondly as they remember you later. Don’t burn bridges – you may end up working with these people again some day. I served one church as a Transition pastor that I had served over 20 years ago as their lead pastor. Finish well to keep doors open down the road.

And finish well as a person of good character. Continue to do what needs to be done even though you know you are leaving soon. Don’t just mail it in. Do what you are expected to do to fulfill your job right to the end.

It’s fun to start new positions, but make sure you leave well at the end too.

Keep looking up.

Andy Wiebe

3 Ideas to Renew Your Passion

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A while back I realized that my passion for my job was fading. When I started the job, I was excited and could see new opportunities. I loved the vision and purpose of the group I was leading. I loved working with these people because of their heart for the church and their desire to grow in their relationship with Jesus.

There are times in my life as a pastor that I have had to renew and restore my passion for my role. I always want to give my best and be excited about what I am working on, but I realized that initial excitement had faded. So I decided I needed to work on renewing my passion for that role, and here is what I did.

Add Variety

One reason I tend to lose passion is because I get bored with routine. I long for some creativity and variety.

I add variety in my preaching. This is an area that I have control over, so may be one of the first places I can work at renewing my passion. For example, I might use a video or story to help people connect with the sermon. I might use an object lesson and provide those items to each person when they arrive at church. Beyond Sunday sermons, I might identify a project that I could initiate with others to help us work toward our vision.

Celebrate something.

Sometimes the boring monotony can be awakened to new passion when I take a moment to reflect on the exciting things happening. Good things are happening. God is at work. People are being changed. Programs are reaching people. People are responding to sermons and applying what they learn. When I get stuck in feelings of boredom, I can identify reasons to celebrate. I might celebrate by myself, or with my family, or my coworkers or church. It’s amazing what praising and thanking God can do in lift my spirits and reawakening that passion for my role.

Talk to God about it.

There are times I have taken a mini-retreat – maybe even just an afternoon away from my office – where I can stop everything and talk with God. I talk with Him about what is going on and how my passion is fading. I ask him to show me where I need to focus. I ask Him to give direction. Often this time with God reaffirms my calling, renews excitement in me about what God is doing and inviting me into. Sometimes I come away with new ideas, other times it is a re-enforcing of what I already knew I was to do. But the time with God reminds me of my role and what I need to be doing.

There is often an ebb and flow in the intensity of our passion for the work we are doing. Don’t let it fade too long. Choose to renew your passion again and again so that you will enjoy your role and will continue to contribute well to the vision you and your team or church are pursuing.

What are some ways you have renewed your passion? Let me know.

Keep looking up,

Andy

Moms – and Other Mentors In Our Life

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Whoever you are as a person – who you are right now – you didn’t get to become this person completely on your own. There were people along the way that helped you become you, who shaped you intentionally and accidentally.

One of the great shapers of our life is often our Mother. The one who gave birth to us is usually the one who cares for us from birth to adulthood. While not all are fortunate to be raised by their mother, mothers impact who we are and who we become. Moms are there to help us learn the skills of life. From learning to walk to how to care for our hygiene. They, usually in tandem with your father, prepare you for adulthood. Many do it with great care and direction.

My mom was a “stay-at-home” mom, so she was always there. She was there when I woke up in the morning. She got breakfast ready and packed our lunches for school. She was there after school waiting to hear how the day went. And along the way I learned things like sharing and looking both ways before crossing the street. My siblings and I are most likely not even aware of all she taught us.

Many of us have others who played significant roles in our life. For example, maybe there was a teacher who took time to explain the math question until you finally got it, or the one who encouraged your creativity as you learned to draw. Or maybe you remember a camp counselor who listened to you and encouraged you as you were hurting. For me, there was a man in the church, a friend of my Dad’s, who I never spent much time with but whom I looked up to. I watched how he handled life, his business and his involvement in the church.

Some of us became leaders because someone encouraged us. I remember my brother being told at a young age, “you are a leader. Be careful where you lead people.” Other kids just naturally followed him, and did what he did. I was much more a follower. Some of us became musicians because a band teacher affirmed our musical abilities and encouraged us to do well with that.

I am a pastor because the president of my bible college, Reuben Kvill, encouraged me to consider a pastoral internship. I was not interested in being a pastor, but he encouraged me in that direction. It was during my internship that God affirmed that calling in me to become a pastor. Mr. Kvill took a personal interest in me and spoke words of encouragement to me. This had profound impact.

Another significant man in my life was Phil. Phil was a full-time missionary. He had served overseas and was now reaching out to the Hindu community in Edmonton. He taught an Evangelism Explosion class, where the curriculum taught us how to share our faith, but also included “field” practice where we went out with another more experienced person to share our faith and invite people to come to know Jesus. The casual conversations along with the formal classes instilled in me a desire to reach people for Jesus that has impacted all the years since.

We all have people who have helped us along the way. Some of us have a few, others have many, but we need to recognize that we did not become who we are on our own. We each have had help to become who we are and develop some of the skills we have.

Will you do the same? Will you look for people whom you can pass your knowledge and information on to? It may be in a formal setting like my Explosion Evangelism class. It may be in meaningful conversations where you encourage and affirm what is good in the other person’s life. You can suggest they consider a new opportunity in their life. Take time to slow down and notice the people around you. And then, when you can, speak into their lives in the way that your mom and other mentors did for you.

I want to finish with one final recognition. A large part of who I am is because of God in my life. There are times when I have felt God speaking or impressing something on my heart that caused me to shift direction in my career. God has encouraged and affirmed me even when many around me did not. I thank God for the people He has put in my path to help shape me.

Let’s thank God for the people who have helped us, and then look for whom to help next.

Keep Looking up,

Andy Wiebe

If I Believed In Luck

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Good thing I don’t believe in luck. If I believed in luck, I would have no luck at all. Here’s some of my good luck bad luck story from my last few weeks.

Bad luck – I got caught behind a snowplow on the highway and the pickup behind me rammed into me.

Good luck – My wife and I, as well as the people in the other vehicle, were banged up a bit but okay.

Bad luck – It was the weekend and no rental cars available, not even any cars at the place my insurance sent me.

Good luck – another rental place did have a car.

Bad luck – the rental car had to be returned to where we picked it up. It was a 14 hour round trip to drop it off, and then how would I get home?

Good luck – we were allowed to return the rental car to another spot which was only about a 9 hour round trip. Saved a little time.

Bad luck – in order to come home, my wife had to rent a second car to drive down and pick me up.

Good luck – we found a car to replace the one that was totalled on the highway.

Bad luck – within two weeks it was in the shop, for about 2 weeks.

Good luck – they finally got it fixed and we could use it again.

Bad luck – in less than two weeks we hit a deer with the new car and back to the shop it went.

Yesterday was another bad luck good luck situation.

Bad luck – my prescription for my medication had run out. We don’t have a family doctor and go to a walk in which was totally booked by the time I got there.

Good luck – I was referred to another walk in that evening.

Bad luck – by the time I arrived all the spots were taken.

Good luck – they put me on a cancellation list in case there was room and they would call me back. And they did!

Extra good luck – I ended up seeing a doctor who specializes in helping people with chronic pain. Being I was the last patient of the day, she took extra time to walk through what my pain is and had some suggestions to help me. She was the first doctor in a long time who actually understood me and my symptoms and the medication I was taking. She is looking for how she can assist me further!

Okay. I have no place for luck. I don’t believe in luck. I believe in a God who loves his people and takes care of them. Yes, we live in a world where not everything goes our way. At times God allows certain things into our live that are not pleasant, even painful and discouraging. But I am convinced that God is walking with me. When it seems that good luck shows up, I believe it is God stepping in again and again doing those good and wonderful things for us!

This is important to understand in our personal lives and also in our church or business life. God is interested in everything we do. We can go to him with our needs and He will step in. He doesn’t always fix everything, but he definitely walks with us in it. And sometimes, as Psalm 94:12 says, “Blessed is the man you discipline, O Lord.” God uses the different situations we go through, not to punish us, but to help train us to become more like Him and more effective in what He wants us to do in life. Instead of seeing life as bad or good luck, ask God what he wants you to learn along the way.

If I believed in luck I would feel pretty discouraged by now.

Luck? No way! God stepping in? Definitely!

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe