Caring

Train Yourself to Be Godly #6: Fellowship and Community

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*Training yourself to be godly may include fellowship and community.

Because of our North American independent mindset, many of us have missed the point that much of scripture addresses the Christian life with an expectation of connection. This is expressed and experienced in fellowship and community.

A simple definition for fellowship I heard is this: it’s two fellows in a ship. While this gets to the idea of fellowship, it is much more than two or more people in close proximity.

Fellowship (koinonia in Greek) is about “partnership, participation, sharing, communicating, and communing together”.

David Mathis defines fellowship as “less like friends gathered to watch the Super Bowl, and more like players on the field in blood, sweat, and tears, huddled in the backfield only in preparation for the next down.”Fellowship is joining in together with others to encourage and comfort and lift up. To do the “one another’s” of the Bible to each other: love one another, encourage one another, and so on.

Community is another word for fellowship. John Mark Comer describes it like this: “From coming together on Sunday for worship or eating a meal around a table to practicing confession to entering into spiritual direction, therapy, or mentorship – community is how we travel the Way together” (Practicing the Way). Community is experienced when we get to know each other well enough to be there to encourage, strengthen, or lift each other up when needed.

You may not think of Fellowship, or Community, as a spiritual practice, but they are. They are part of helping us to grow in our relationship with Jesus. This is one of the reasons that Hebrews 10 tells us to “not neglect meeting together… but to encourage one another”. They are practices we can choose to join into with purpose.

Fellowship and community are more than just being part of a church or attending every Sunday. Often, fellowship and community are experienced with a close friend or two, or in an intentional small group that meets regularly to help each other grow in their faith.

Stephen Macchia  suggests that fellowship and community are defined and experienced by the following:

  • Faithful presence
  • Honesty and transparency
  • Mutual submission
  • Confession and forgiveness
  • Joy: Laughter and tears
  • Listening and empathy
  • Attitude of gratitude

All of this can be summed up in being open and honest with a few people you trust so you can walk with them and they with you through your life journey with Jesus.

I encourage you to find a few good friends or join a small group, where you can get to know each other and care for each other in real, meaningful, and practical ways. Do this intentionally and you will be practicing fellowship and community as spiritual practices.

Watch for more on fellowship next week.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

When Pastoral Care is Unnatural for You

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I get excited about many parts of church leadership. I love to work on vision and strategy and even bylaws, and the constitution. I enjoy preparing and preaching sermons or teaching lessons, but I am not naturally aware of people’s needs. I don’t mind spending time with people, in fact, I enjoy it when I do, but caring for people is not readily on my mind. My mind is quick to look at how to plan, lead, and direct, but I need help and reminders to slow down and be with people. Maybe some of you can relate? If so, some of the following ideas might help both you and me.

Listen for the needs people express.

This is so straightforward that it hardly seems worth mentioning, yet I don’t always do this well. When people have conversations with me, I may stop and pray for them right there if they mention a need, but I often forget to check in later to see how things went.

Sometimes you hear people raising a prayer request in a group. The other day I heard someone ask for prayer for a test she had to undergo. That was a great opportunity for me to make a note somewhere to check in on her later. If someone makes a worry known, they likely want people to be aware and take notice. This might be a great time to arrange a coffee or make an appointment to meet with them and care for them.

Follow up on cues others notice.

Recently, I was meeting with a Transition Team at a church, going through the church’s Health and Vision Assessment we had just completed together. There were many encouraging and helpful responses from the congregation, but there was one person who consistently answered negatively. I didn’t pay too much attention. I thought he may just be a more thorough person and generally critical, yet a few on the team suggested he may need a visit from me. I hadn’t even considered that but agreed to their suggestion. I met with him and he seemed glad and was very willing to talk. He even indicated that he signed his name to the assessment in hopes someone would meet with him. We had a great conversation. I’m not sure we resolved anything, but he did appreciate the opportunity to be heard. Be alert to other cues that a person needs some attention.

Pause and evaluate the day in light of people.

It might be helpful to stop at one point in your day to think and pray through your interactions of the day, asking God to point out anyone who needs a call, a text, or a visit. You could do this at the beginning of your day, asking God to point out who from yesterday needs your care today. Or you might choose to do this at the end of your day, reflecting on the day that was, and planning how you might connect with people who come to mind.

If this is difficult, it can be helpful to keep a checklist on your desk with questions to prompt you to reflect on your daily interactions. Some questions could include:

  • Who has medical needs that are weighing on them?
  • Who expressed a specific need today?
  • Who is dealing with concerns in their marriage or family?
  • Who is leading or serving in a ministry and needs encouragement?
  • Who is dealing with depression and could use a personal connection?
  • Who has someone else suggested needs care?
  • Who has been absent from church for a while?
  • Who has the potential for greater leadership responsibilities and could use a conversation to discuss the possibilities of this?
  • Who has exciting news personally or in their family that you could celebrate with them?
PASTORAL CARE CHECKLISTDownload

Pastoral care is an important aspect of effective leadership, but it doesn’t always come naturaly. If you are like me in this way, I hope this post encourages you to adopt some of my suggestions or find methods of your own to help you notice ways you can better care for those you lead.

May your ability to notice people who need care expand as you are intentional about it.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

Book Reviews: Andy’s 2024 Reading Experience

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I will be sharing a brief review of every book I read this year. Hope you enjoy and hope it encourages you to keep reading.

B.L.E.S.S.: 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World – by Dave Ferguson and Jon Ferguson

As Christians, we know that Jesus commanded us to share the
gospel with the world around us. Yet for many of us this is a confusing and
terrifying thought. It seems so foreign to us. Dave and Jon make it seem simple
and lay out a clear plan on how to naturally share God’s love with the people
we encounter every day. If you were looking for a plan on how to tell others
about Jesus, B.L.E.S.S. is that plan. Begin with Prayer, Listen, Eat together,
Serve, and Share your Story. I encourage you to grab a book, read it, and apply
– by yourself or with a group.



 



Summer Road Signs Series – #7: Playground and School Zone Signs

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Playground and school zone signs are similar in that they warn drivers to be aware that there are children in the area. This is one of the road signs that I seem to miss easily.  In fact, I got two photo radar tickets in the mail because I had not slowed down for a playground I passed twice in the same morning.

While many signs are intended for driver safety, these signs are all about the safety of other people, often children. And that is why I got my tickets, because I was focused on finding a doctor’s office that morning, not paying attention to others around me, and speeding in a playground zone. Churches, and pastors like me, could learn a few things from this sign.

First, remember that there are other people around. It is so easy to get focused on tasks we are engaged in that we don’t notice others. We are so focused on “driving” the church that we forget the importance of people in the process. Yes, pastors need to prepare for this Sunday’s sermon and monthly board meetings. There are projects to undertake and budgets to plan. All these are good and important things to engage with, but don’t forget that the first priority – the reason we exist as a church – is to help people. There are times we would benefit from a sign that would remind us to slow down and notice people.

Secondly, beyond just noticing people, we need to be aware of their needs – to stop driving and make sure we don’t hit them if they stumble on our path. Our desire should be to help these people get safely back off the road.

Thirdly, as we notice people and make sure they are safe, it is important that we do not view these people as distractions, but as the priority right there in the moment. Instead of yelling at kids to “get off the road,” or being frustrated with people who want some of our time, we need to see our interactions with people – even the unannounced ones – as an opportunity to fulfill our priorities as churches and church leaders. Other people are not inconveniences interrupting us on the way to what is really important.

Jesus tells a story that might help us see the outworkings of this sign in our church and pastoral ministry. In Luke 10: 25-37, Jesus tells the story of a man who is beaten, robbed, and left on the side of the road. A couple of religious leaders see the man but are so intent on their destination they ignore him and keep on going. Then along comes a Samaritan, who obviously was also on a journey somewhere, but is willing to delay it in order to ensure this stranger is okay and cared for. The Samaritan bandages the beaten man, puts him on his own donkey, takes him to an inn, and pays for all his needs.

Church leaders and pastors, let’s notice people and see them as the priority, not as an inconvenience to deal with quickly and get out of our way. Let’s notice them and care for their needs.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe