parenting

Four Suggestions for A Good New Start

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While beginning a new job is both exciting and overwhelming, it is important to take time in the midst of the busyness to identify your values in the new role. The duties of the job can quickly fill your schedule and begin to pull you in a direction you may not necessarily want to go.

What is important to you that you do not want to ignore as the demands of your new position grow? What do you need to schedule now before your schedule fills up?

  1.  Get Your Family Settled

When moving to a different community for your work, make sure you take adequate time to get your family settled. Unpack as quickly as you can so that your family can see familiar photos on the wall and fridge that help them feel somewhat at home.

Help your family get settled in school and in other sports or community activities that will help them get connected to the community and to new friends. The more settled your family feels, the more settled you will feel.

Schedule important family dates onto your calendar before the job demands overwhelm you and you forget special days. 

2. Be Clear on Your Personal Priorities

    In the process of accepting a new role, you have an opportunity to review the job description that will define your responsibilities. But you most likely have some personal values or priorities that you hold. If you, as a new pastor, want to spend regular time in prayer, schedule it into your calendar. If you love mentoring others, you might already be looking for whom to mentor. If you want to keep on growing in your skills and personal development, you might want to determine a plan that will work in this new setting and will not interfere with the responsibilities you agree to when you accepted the position.

    Make sure you know the requirements of your new role. Begin to plan and dream and schedule dates as you look at what you need to work on.

    3. Begin New Friendships

    When you begin a new position in a church, there may not be a lot of demands on you at first as you begin to make your way into your new role. Because you do not have many projects to work on at first, focus on getting to know people. Get to know the people you will work closely with. Get to know your board. Get to know other staff. Get to know the leaders who volunteer in the ministries of the church. You can do this on your own, or if you have a spouse or family, meet together with couples and families.

    Good friendships will help your job to be an enjoyable experience.

    4. Develop a Schedule That Fits the New Role

    While your new job may be similar to what you have done before, each new role comes with various changes that affect how you fulfill your new role. Each new job comes with different expectations and different schedules. Because of the expectations of your new role, you may need to take a different day off than you have before. Maybe you are better off coming to work earlier and going home earlier in the afternoon as well. Figure out the schedule that will work for you now.

    It can be a lot of fun starting a new job. I believe you will have a better start if you can follow the suggestions above.

    Keep looking up,

    Andy Wiebe

    The Privilege of Being a Pastor #2: Walking with Families

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    One of the joys of being a pastor is getting to know the people in your congregation. Often, this happens during very personal and intimate moments as you walk with them through these significant milestones.

    Babies and Child Dedications

    In my experience, it is not unusual for the pastor to be one of the first ones outside the family to be welcomed to the home of new parents. Sometimes my wife and I have even visited the new parents and baby at the hospital to meet the baby and pray for the family before they are sent home. What a special privilege!

    Often families arrange with the pastor for a Child Dedication Ceremony. I love being able to hold the child and offer a prayer of blessing on the child and the parents. What a profound moment as we ask God’s blessing on the young life – and I get to do that!

    Conversion and Baptisms

    Many parents have been excited to share with me that their child prayed to surrender their life to Jesus. Then later, I get to walk them through a baptism class and baptism. Often the family invites me and my family to join them for a celebration with their family and friends after the baptism. They want us to participate in the celebration!

    Weddings

    This is a fun one! I love to walk with young couples as they prepare for their wedding. I enjoy the conversations my wife and I can have with the couple as we teach and encourage them and help them prepare for this new journey they are beginning. It is a lot of fun to celebrate with them and their families on that special day.

    Sickness

    While this is not a fun one, there are times when families face serious illness and long hospital stays. It is a privilege to visit them in the hospital, to be there as a friend and a representative of God. It is good to be present with them, and to pray with them. And it exciting when we see God give them restoration and new health.

    Funerals

    One of the hardest things to do as a pastor is to walk with a family I have known for a long time as they cope with the death of a family member. I may be able to give a hug or an encouraging word, but most of all, I get to point them back to God and to scripture.

    Some pastors have been at the same church long enough to walk through a few of these, or all of these special moments with the families they serve. Now they are marrying the same adult they dedicated as a child years ago.

    As a pastor, I get the privilege, very often with my wife, to be part of some significant moments in other families lives because they love us and want us to be part of their family celebrations. What a joy to walk with people during some of their best and their worst times in their lives!

    It is a privilege to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

    Keep looking up,

    Andy Wiebe

    Church Leadership Series: Part 7: A Leader Must Manage His Family Well

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    He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?

    1 Timothy 3: 4,5 (NLT)

    his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious. 

     Titus 1: 6 (NLT)

    I wonder how many leaders love the idea of leading people as long as it doesn’t intrude on their own personal life. The reality is, when we are leaders, we are still parents and children and siblings.  We have responsibilities at home that affect how we lead and how we lead affects how we handle our responsibilities at home.

    A Christian leader must manage his own family well. After all, if you can’t manage your household, how can you be expected to manage the church organization you lead? How you do with your responsibilities at home portrays how you will likely manage others.

    Look at Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Parents, especially fathers, are entrusted with the training and instruction of their children. Church leader, you need to be able to manage your family well.

    In 1 Timothy the leader is described as “having children who respect and obey him.” Titus says, “his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious.” I know of Christian leaders who have stepped out of leadership positions because of children who were not obeying them. They felt that if they were not able to manage their family, they should not be in church leadership. I respect that decision as long as there is then an effort to rebuild a relationship with a rebellious child.

    There is an expectation that a Christian leader will have a good relationship with his children so the children will willingly respect and obey him. This tells us things about both the leader and their child. This implies that the leader has taken time at home to ensure there is a relationship with the child. Some Christian leaders are “absent fathers” because they spend so much time away from home, or even focused on their leadership responsibilities, that they have not cultivated a loving and caring relationship with their children! A child’s obedience can be an indicator the leader has not parented well, but this is not always the case. It could be that the child is struggling in some other way or is determined to do their own thing, no matter what. If so, then maybe the leader needs to step away from some leadership roles to spend more time with this child.

    A leader should not have a “wild and rebellious child” but children who are believers. The leader should take time raising their children to ensure that they came to know Jesus, or at least had every opportunity to do so. Do we really want leaders in the church who have not taken the time to ensure their own children have given their lives to Jesus and accepted Him as their Savior?

    Some Christian parents seem to think their role is to make sure their children get to Sunday School and VBS and youth group at church. They may enroll them in a Christian school. Their idea of Christian training is to expect the church to do it all. While all those are good things, they can never be more than an added help. The church cannot be the main contributor to the spiritual growth of children. This must be led by the parents at home. A Christian leader needs to see the value of their own time teaching their children and not expect they can hand it off to the church. A Christian will go out of their way to disciple their children first and then look at leading others.

    Keep looking up,

    Andy Wiebe