I remember a leader telling me that she was discouraged because she never heard from people if they appreciated what she was doing. We all long for approval and acknowledgement. We want validation because it feeds our desire for people to like us and like what we do. We need to keep leading even when the accolades are not freely given.

The general population is not good at giving approval for something they expect. If we lead well in church, we will rarely get feedback because we are doing exactly what we signed up to do. We are leading in the way we agreed to when we took on the responsibility. Sometimes, when the verbal accolades are not given, we may be able to read the body language of the crowd to recognize their approval. If people laugh at a joke you shared in a speech, take that as an accolade. If they respond with clapping or raised hands during worship you lead, receive that as a sign you are leading well as they are responding physically.

It is also important to recognize that people are more likely to give negative feedback than positive feedback. If there is absence of negative feedback, take that as a good sign. No feedback may mean that people are okay with how things are going.

As leaders, we also need to learn to get our affirmation elsewhere. We cannot depend on the people we lead to be a gauge of how well we are leading. Instead, we need to be clear about what our role is and do it to our best ability. Yes, we love and need feedback, but we must learn to lead without it coming from the ones we lead. And then when we do receive positive feedback, accept it as a bonus rather than an expectation.

Sometimes we can look at the success of our leadership and receive positive encouragement from that, but sometimes our leadership is not met with the success we long for. We may be doing it all right, but still have no success to point to.

In Galatians 1: 10 Paul points out that our goal should be to please God rather than look for the approval of men. Yes, it feels really good and is affirming to hear the “well done” of people, but it is even more encouraging to know that God approves of us and our leadership. Some years ago, my leadership was challenged to the point that I ended up losing my position. This affected me deeply. It was incredibly encouraging when I was at a pastor’s retreat, and God used others to affirm His love for me. Three different times in those couple of days, God said to me, “You are beloved Son in whom I am pleased.” Once it was a strong impression in my mind and twice it was as different people prayed over me. The approval of God was worth much more than that of men.

It is also valuable to recognize that anything good is done only through the work of Christ in us. 1 Corinthians 3: 7 points out, “So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow”. God equips us and invites us into leadership roles. Our first responsibility is to Him! As we serve in leadership, we ought to serve with a desire to please God first.

When the accolades do not come, continue to lead as God has called you. Do your job well and do it for the Master who called you to that role in the first place.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe