self-care

The Benefits of Rituals

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It’s fall, and children are heading back to school. Though we have no school age children in our house anymore, I’m reminded of those hectic school mornings. Often it is a race against time to get the children dressed, fed, and backpack loaded to get them out off to school on time. This is an example where rituals could be of great benefit.

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ritual /rĭch′oo͞-əl/

noun

  1. A ceremony in which the actions and wording follow a prescribed form and order.

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Rituals are helpful patterns for life. These are steps we go through on a regular basis that ensure we don’t forget something and get it done on time. Rituals could help children be less rushed in the morning before they head off to school. Check out the examples below.

Before going to bed the night before:

  • Lay out the next day’s clothes.
  • Pack the backpack with everything except the lunch.
  • Pack the lunch and place in the fridge.

Morning rituals:

  • Pack lunch in backpack before breakfast.
  • Place backpack beside your shoes at the door.
  • Breakfast at the same time every morning.

It may be helpful to have a ritual for the start of your workday as a pastor or church leader. Instead of showing up in your office with no idea what the day will look like, you can have a plan to start the day right. A ritual can help you make the most the first part of your day.

To set up helpful rituals you need to think through what you already do, deciding which things happen every day and could help you start the day right. A morning ritual may look like this:

  • Begin with prayer, asking God to guide your day.
  • Check emails and quickly decide which to respond to or which to put on your to-do list to deal with later.
  • Plan your day, and note appointments already schedule or deadlines that need to be met.

You may find it helpful to have some “end of day” rituals which prepare you for a good start the next day:

  • List anything that needs to be followed up from the day.
  • Make your to-do list for the next day.
  • Note appointments that have already been made.

For rituals to be helpful, they need to be personal to you. They need to be steps you will take.

Rituals can help in many areas of our work life. I have rituals for how I go about preparing my weekly sermons. I have rituals I follow in preparing to teach a class. I have rituals in how I ensure I am ready for Sunday morning. These rituals help me to make sure I don’t forget something and save time because I don’t have to think up new patterns every time.

A few benefits of rituals are that you are less likely to forget important steps, you will be more organized, and life will be just a little less hectic. Enjoy establishing meaningful rituals.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe

What Energizes You?

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A friend of mine is going through a difficult stage in life. His job is not what he would like and leaves him exhausted at the end of the day when he wants to spend time with his family. He has a large debt that he is working to clean up among other issues that stress him out. When I asked him what fills him up, he answered, “Right now, I have no clue.” He is so overwhelmed with life that trying to think of something that would help energize him seems impossible.

What fills up your tank? There is value in finding something that energizes you.

Being in nature fills me up. I love driving through the mountains, enjoying the scenery and watching for wildlife. My wife and I stopped at a little heart-shaped lake in the Pine Pass in northern British Columbia this fall. Heart Lake is nestled at the foot of some mountains, surrounded by towering pines and spruce. When you walk out on the little dock, the water is so clear you can see right to the bottom of the lake. We enjoyed sitting at a picnic table, reading, then pausing to take in the scenery, and repeating that process. It filled me up.

Sometimes spending time with the right person fills me up. We all know there are certain people who drain you. They draw energy from you. But there are others who make you feel good. There have been times when my wife has told me, “You should really talk to so and so.” Or “you should have lunch with your friend.” There are a few men in my life, who, when I spend a little time with them, leaves me encouraged and energized.

Some of you might get energized by reading a good book. I love to read. It might be a novel or a book that challenges me spiritually. I love to learn, and reading helps me to do that. And it can fill up my tank.

I’m also a project person. I love working on a project where there is a clear goal in mind that I can work toward. I get filled up when I can contribute to something meaningful that cumulates in a well-done finished project.

What fills you up? If you are not sure, maybe you need to ask someone close to you. They may have seen where you shine and where you seem to act happier. As I said earlier, my wife sometimes reminds me to take time to be with one of my energizing friends.

If you feel you have no idea what energizes you it may be time to try new things. Even though it sometimes doesn’t seem like it, you are in charge of your calendar, and your time. I know that we all have demands on us from work and family and other commitments we are tied to, but we should all have even a few minutes here or there to spend on our own well-being.

Identifying what fills you up, and then spending time doing that activity is an important way to fill us up amid the stresses of life. When we get hungry, we eat. When we have been giving and giving too long, we begin to lose ambition and get short-tempered. We need to “eat” something that will restore joy and inner peace.

Some pastors take a sabbatical for a period of weeks and months. While time off is good, even in that scenario, the true value comes not just from taking time off to rest but spending time in our “tank filling” activities. If you are married, you might want to help each other enjoy your energizing activities. This could look like covering for each other in the home for half an hour or so occasionally so the other person can have a few moments to spend on themselves.

Let me finish with one more suggestion, probably the one we should have started with, and one that should remind us that any “tank filling” attempts fall short if we are not right with the One who created us and wants to walk through life with us. A key “tank filling” experience is to have some quiet time to spend with just you and God. You could read scripture. The Psalms may encourage you as the psalmist cries out to God with the same emotions you are feeling. Or you can read the Old Testament stores and be encouraged that God uses even the busy and messed up people for his purposes. You could spend some time talking with God. Think of it as a conversation. Ask him for encouragement and joy. You might want to sing songs of praise, or one of the old hymns. Taking time to be with God can fill a person up.

Remember that God created us all unique, with unique ways of being re-energized and filled up for the next day.

Keep looking up,

Andy Wiebe